Nothing Burns Like The Cold
by Drew55
Summary: Emotions run high when Brittany and Santana get caught together in a blizzard. At the time of the storm Brittany is still dating Sam and hasn't told Santana. Santana knows about their relationship and is furious with Brittany because she hasn't told her. How will they deal with their estrangement and how will it affect their survival?
1. Cold Shoulder

**AN: Hi all you Brittana Gleeks out there! For those of you who know me from past stories, I'm back! For those who are reading something of mine for the first time, thank you and I hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing this- just sayin. I hope it shows in the finished product.**

**At this point some readers, (the ones that do know me) are probably saying WTF Drew… I know, I suck, that's all I gonna say, I agree with you. I don't really want to get into my previous stories in an authors note for my new story, (cause I hate when authors do that), but I will say if you are or were a reader of Playing With Fire I have a message on my profile page about future updates. Check it out to find out what's up. **

**Okay onward to a new Brittana beginning…**

**Summary: Brittany never told Santana about her relationship with Sam. Santana found out anyway and is really angry and hurt that Brittany didn't tell her. Brittany knows that Santana found out, but she's finding it too difficult to address and the longer she waits the harder it is to talk to Santana. But what happens when Mother Nature brings them together and they're forced to deal with their feelings in order to survive? Angst, drama, hurt, comfort, friendship, romance, all centered during a natural disaster in the form of a blizzard. Let's see how our girls keep each other warm shall we. ;) Canon up through Sadie Hawkins, but after that everything is completely different and if I may say, I think it's for the better. Hopefully you think so to.**

**Warning: Slight Bram just to set up where this story begins. Don't worry people; this is most definitely a Brittana story despite what the beginning might lead you to believe. BUT, I will say if you absolutely hate Bram with a burning passion and want me to hate on them in this story too, sorry, I'm not. I actually believe Bram could have had a realistic place in Glee, (albeit a short lived place) if handled correctly, but, like Brittana, it wasn't, so here we are with most people disliking that relationship. #Pity! But I'm gonna say it again, a little louder just so you know, THIS IS A BRITTANA STORY. Thanks, phew… I feel better now. Also, please note that in light of Cory Monteith's tragic death some parts of this story could be hard for some people to handle. There is nothing in this dealing with drug use or addiction or anything like that, but I just wanted to warn people considering there are some traumatic situations in this story that deal with life and death. Note that it's categorized as hurt and comfort, but also note I DO NOT have a character death warning in here for a reason.**

**Disclaimer: The title for this story comes for Game of Thrones, which I don't own BTW, that belongs to George R. R. Martin. But, title aside, this story has nothing to do with Game of Thrones. I just stole the quote because I thought it made a great title for my new Brittany/Santana story. Glee isn't mine either, just putting that out there. I own nothing glee related except a new song on my IPod in honor of the late Cory Monteith. R.I.P. and a red M&M T-shirt. Not gonna go into why a grown man might have a red M&M shirt, but to anyone else suffering from a serious Naya Rivera crush, I will say there's nothing wrong with imagining yourself as a piece of red chocolate candy, just so you know.**

**AN2: Spoilers addition- Story starts off post Sadie Hawkins with Santana still in Louisville. In my head Santana doesn't just drop out the way that was scripted in Diva so for this story she's still taking classes and cheering at the time this story begins. New York will be address later, (promise.) Other than that, I don't think there are any other spoilers, (if you consider those spoilers,) past, present or future, but if there are it's purely coincidental because I never look at spoilers. To me it ruins some of the fun; although, I think I'm gonna have to amend that policy for the start of season 5. I just can't imagine how they are going to handle the loss of Cory Monteith. Curiosity will definitely get the better of me, I just know it.**

**Happy reading! I hope you like it! I even think that some of you who REALLY hate Bram will like it. Give it a shot and let me know. All reviews are appreciated, good or bad.**

**Big shout out to my beta for making this story better in so many ways. Thanks BrittanaFan25! **

**Apologies for the super long authors note, introduction and other garbage, I always seem to have a lot to say. Sorry! From now on they will be shorter, promise!**

**Nothing Burns Like The Cold…**

**Chapter 1- …Cold Shoulder**

"I can't stay here, Sam," Brittany said, focusing elsewhere as she threw some of her clothes that were haphazardly scattered around her room into her duffle bag. "My sisters in labor, I have to be there."

Sam sighs as he takes in his girlfriend's frantic attempt to gather her belongings. He's pretty sure that in her rush to pack, Brittany's grabbing Sugar's clothes as well since both Brittany and Sugar have clothes thrown everywhere around their tiny dorm room.

For the last three days the glee club has been staying on campus at the University of Virginia for a national show choir showcase highlighting some of the best glee clubs in the country. New Directions was set to perform tomorrow, but Finn made an announcement earlier that day and told everyone that the rest of the competition had been cancelled due to an incoming winter storm. The storm was supposed to start sometime tonight and with it would come record setting snow falls, freezing temperatures, and high winds. Everyone from the Mid-West through the Mid-Atlantic and up into the Northeast were all bracing and preparing for the storm. It had already started snowing in Lima according to Brittany's mom and all that snow and more was headed towards the mountains of West Virginia and the Charlottesville area within the day. The local regional airport was set to close in the next two hours which meant Brittany sure as hell wasn't getting home by air. So the only option would be to drive somehow, and Brittany was a terrible driver on a good day, let alone a snowy day so Sam knew Brittany would never attempt to drive herself.

"Brittany, I'm sorry," Sam said, watching Brittany attempt to zip her bag. The pink Rainbow Brite bag looked like an overstuffed sausage that was about to pop right out of the casing as Brittany pulled and tugged on the seams in an attempt to get it to close. "I know being stuck here right now sucks but-"

"Santana's coming to drive me home," Brittany said, surprising Sam and not looking up to see his troubled reaction. Brittany was lying on top of her bag now, grimacing and gritting her teeth as she strained to pull the zipper closed. "This darn thing,"Brittany huffed after another failed attempt to move the pull cord even an inch.

_Darn_, Sam thought, processing Brittany's words. That was about as close to profanity he'd ever heard from Brittany which meant she was clearly upset about everything going on right now, probably even more than him. Sam sighed again, this time attempting to settle his own nerves and reservations about involving Santana. Brittany was sprawled out and practically collapsed on top of her bag after her final attempt to close it had failed and she looked plain whipped. He decided she was definitely feeling worse then him so channeling the selfless, good guy he knew he could be he turned his focus on her. He could worry about his own fears later. Sam took a couple of heavy steps towards Brittany who was breathing a little heavier than normal and massaging her chafed fingers. She looked sad and exhausted and Sam hated seeing her this way so he closed the short distance between them and bent down to pull the zipper on the bag closed for her.

"Thanks," she said in gratitude, shifting sluggishly back up into a sitting position beside him.

They both fidgeted nervously in their spots on the floor and other than the tiny crinkling sounds of their clothes moving against the cold tile floor there was silence. It was one of those knowing, awkward silences. They both were thinking the worst which was strange for them since they both were typically glass half full people. But this time was different; there were just too many unknown variables to account for to be confident it would all work out. Would Santana try to come between them? (Sam) Is Santana going to lash out at me for not explaining about Sam and I from the beginning? (Brittany) Was it safe for them to be driving in this weather in the first place? (Sam) Would we make it back to Lima in time for me to be there for the birth of my niece? (Brittany) These were all concerns, but all those thoughts aside, when you really looked at it, Brittany just needed to be with her family right now and Sam was completely familiar with that feeling. He felt that many times when his family was struggling to make ends meet. He understood Brittany's need to try anything to be with and help her family, he really did, but that didn't mean he liked Santana and Brittany alone, in a tense car, in the snow, for 9 hours. Santana had always been a bit of a mystery to Sam even when they dated. He just never knew what to expect from her and to say that she always surprised him would be an understatement. She was unpredictable, and when that unpredictability involved his girlfriend, _her ex-girlfriend_, in the snow, driving, at night… to say he was worried would also be understatement.

"Sorry I didn't tell you," Brittany offered in the hopes that Sam would realize that she was trying to think about his feelings and that he wasn't just an afterthought in her mind. "But I called her this morning after Finn told me he wasn't going to risk driving us home. She was the only person I could think of who could come get me."

Sam could hear the nerves in Brittany's voice and it hurt him to hear the agitated shake. "It's okay," he said, taking her hand in an offer of comfort and trying to rub away the rawness of her battle with the zipper. "I understand. You have to get home to be with your sister, it's that simple, I get it. Santana's just helping you get there."

"Yeah," Brittany said, hesitating a little and in the process indicating, despite her words, that it really wasn't quite that simple. "Plus, it will give me a chance to finally talk to her about us. She deserves that much. You know I've been wanting to explain things to her for awhile."

"How do you think she's gonna take it?" He asked, nerves creeping into his own voice.

"I guess I'll find out soon… She should be here in a couple hours."

XXXXXXXXXX

Santana texted Brittany a couple minutes ago saying she was stopping for gas and that she would be there shortly.

Brittany, wanting to save every second she could, decided she would walk down and meet Santana at the curb.

"You have everything?" Sam asked with a tense smile while picking up her bag to carry it downstairs.

"Yup," she chirped, grabbing her phone and charger as they moved quickly to the door.

It was a tense walk as they descended the stairwell together in silence.

"You okay?" Sam finally asked after opening the door for her and seeing the first snow flakes were already starting to fall.

"Yeah," Brittany said, coming to a stop a few feet away from the curb and turning shyly towards him. "I'm just a little nervous. I know she's upset with me and you know how much I hate seeing people upset."

Brittany wanted to say I hate seeing _her _upset, but decided to leave that out for Sam's benefit. Sam knew a lot about her feelings for Santana, but certainly not everything and she didn't want to rub it in his face that Santana's feelings, good or bad would always affect her more than possibly anyone's. Brittany could see he was really nervous about her finally getting a chance to talk about their relationship with Santana and she wanted to help ease his mind if she could. "But it'll be fine," she said, reaching across the space between them. "We'll talk, we'll get to Lima, and everything will be fine, you'll see."

Brittany had taken Sam's hand carefully in hers as if to say, _we're still together, don't worry._ The physical contact they felt in that moment seemed to help both of them because Sam broke into a tiny, hesitant smile and Brittany felt her heart rate steady in reaction to his gesture, but unfortunately that feeling didn't last long because at that exact moment Santana's black SUV pulled up and Brittany immediately dropped Sam's hand.

Sam noticed Brittany's timing and his heart sank along with her retreating hand.

"I guess I'll see you in a few days when you guys get back to Lima," she said, trailing off and trying to maintain focus on Sam even though she couldn't help thinking about the woman who was sitting in the car watching. Brittany felt like she was being ripped in two. Her body was crying out and begging her to run to that car and explain things to Santana, but she also didn't want to leave Sam as vulnerable as he looked. "I'll call you," she said, nodding towards him since her typical goodbye peck on the cheek was out of the question which Sam noticed, "and I'll text you with updates when I can."

"Okay," he said weakly. "Be careful."

"Will do. Bye," she said, turning and walking towards Santana's car. After a few steps she looked back at Sam and gave him a reassuring wink that she was positive Santana wouldn't be able to see. She didn't want to rub things in her face either. _We've hurt each other enough over the years,_ she thought. Sam smiled in reaction to the wink as Brittany tossed her bag in the back seat and he waved goodbye as Brittany opened the front door.

Brittany almost sighed, trying to relax as she sat down, but as soon as Brittany settled into the seat, before she even buckled her seat belt she noticed Santana's posture and body language and her breath suddenly got stuck in her throat. The image in front of her wasn't the beautiful, strong and emotionally open woman she'd come to know over the last couple years, this was the angry, scared, bottled up teenager that Brittany used to see years ago. Struck with the painful reminder of how deeply hurt Santana must have been feeling since finding out about her and Sam, Brittany's whole body tightened in spasm and all thoughts of what to say left her mind.

Brittany watched on helplessly as Santana stared out the window, her eyebrows pinched together in a glare of concentrated fury that was directed solely on Sam. To his credit, Sam stood his ground and waved with his head held high one last time before slowly turning to walk back into the dorm.

"Hey," Brittany said cautiously, trying to draw Santana's attention away from Sam's retreating form and stop the holes she was trying to sear into his back with her eyes.

"Uh-huh," Santana curtly responded as she turned to face forward and aggressively shifted the car into drive, pulling away from the curb. The inflection in Santana's tone and lack of a hello told Brittany all she needed to know. Santana wasn't willing to talk about her and Sam, or anything else for that matter just yet. Brittany only hoped that sometime during the next nine hours that she would or else this drive would feel like an eternities worth of atonement for how badly she'd mishandled the situation, and who knows, _maybe I deserved that_, Brittany thought, buckling her seat belt and slumping dejectedly into the seat to wait an eternity if need be.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ten minutes into the drive and Santana still hadn't said a word or even glanced at Brittany once. She was focused solely on the road in front of her with her hands gripping the wheel at ten and two. The road wasn't snow covered yet, but Santana knew it wouldn't be long, maybe another ten or fifteen minutes if she was lucky, considering the snow was coming down heavily and it had already been snowing for awhile in the areas they were headed. She could feel Brittany's eyes on her every other minute, but she couldn't chance a glance in her direction, she wouldn't. She had too much pride and she'd been hurt too badly. The anger she'd let fester over the last month had bubbled to the surface after seeing Brittany and Sam together outside the dorm and she knew if she looked at Brittany right now she would either start a fight or burst into tears. So for now, with only those two options available, silence was preferable and safer considering the conditions, and, at least for now, it was all she was capable of.

Twenty minutes in and the eternity of waiting and atoning that Brittany thought she was prepared to do, seemed impossible. Santana's silent treatment was killing Brittany. For two people who had shared practically everything and been through more than some people had in a lifetime, the silence felt crushing. Of course they'd fought before, and throughout their relationship there were times when Santana bottled up her feelings and refused to talk, but this was a different feeling. Brittany felt completely disconnected from Santana right now and the longer the silence went on the harder it became for Brittany to breathe. Her heart was already beating fast and each time she looked at Santana it would speed up even more in anticipation of words spoken or feelings expressed. But each glance would end the same way it began and nothing would change, no words were spoken, nothing heart felt or otherwise, and with each passing second her chest closed in on itself a little more.

Deciding she'd had enough of the silence, but not willing to dig too deep just yet she asked, "Mind if I turn on some music?"

"Fine," Santana grumbled, flexing her cramped fingers against the steering wheel.

Brittany turned on the radio, but other than the sound of the pop music that seemed a little too chipper for their current situation it was silent again. On the bright side they were making good time considering the conditions. They were already on 64 west, about twenty miles from West Virginia and there wasn't much traffic on the road other than a few snow plows that were scraping and treating the roads. But unfortunately, on the flip side of no traffic, it was dark now, and with no other cars on the road it meant that there was also no additional light to help her see possible snow drifts or slippery spots which made Santana even more anxious. Which was saying a lot considering her anxiety level was already at about a sixty on a scale of one to ten with the tension building with Brittany.

Not able to last in the heavy silence for another minute, Brittany asked, "How's school going?" _That's an easy enough conversation starter, _she thought, _nothing too complicated_. She felt like she could be a little bolder now after her last glance at Santana had lasted a little longer than normal and it revealed the deep frown line on Santana's forehead had abated, at least a little, and the whiteness on her tensed knuckles had disappeared. But if Brittany thought it was going to be that simple, she was wrong because Santana noticeably grimaced at the question and refused to break or answer. She just kept her narrow focus on the road ahead and avoided any contact with Brittany.

Brittany, refusing to back down after finally building up the courage to take the first step, pressed on despite Santana's lack of response. "How's that calculus class you were struggling with going?" She asked, needing to try something, anything, to get her to talk. Silence wasn't going to help fix their problems and Brittany knew it so she pushed again. Santana had always been stubborn after all, but Brittany could always, _eventually,_ she thought, get through. "I know you really hated that class. Is it any better?"

This time Santana scoffed in response and rolled her eyes. That question just pointed out how little they'd talked recently. The first trimester was over months ago and a new one had started ages ago. Brittany should know that, Santana thought. I guess the key word was _should know that,_ she thought rolling her eyes again_._ For Christ sake she wasn't even taking calculus anymore.

"You must be glad football season's over," Brittany continued, refusing to give up. She knew that Santana couldn't avoid talking to her forever. "Has practice slowed down at all?"

Santana, at this point wanted to scream. So instead of going ape shit and potentially crashing the car in the process, she just gritted her teeth and shook her head a couple times trying to rid herself of the impulse to strangle something. All these questions were just glaring reminders of how far they'd drifted apart and Santana didn't need anymore reminders of that, Trouty Mouth was enough of a reminder. All these questions did was emphasize all the conversations that should have happened weeks ago, but didn't.

Santana really wanted to lash out right now, and yell at Brittany, and tell her that no, practice hasn't slowed down. Louisville has a nationally ranked men's basketball program that I have to cheer for despite not wanting to and you'd know that if you'd bothered to call. But you didn't call, you were to busy sucking face with those froggy lips on your human sized Ken doll to call your best friend, who by the way, if you forgot, was your girlfriend up until a couple months ago. Someone who you'd told a thousand times that you loved, someone who up until recently was the only person you wanted to kiss. Someone who you swore to always be honest with when it came your heart and someone who, up until last month, still trusted you with her own heart despite not being together anymore. Santana wanted to say all those things, but most importantly she wanted to ask Brittany if she ever planned on telling her about Sam. Did she mean that little to Brittany that she didn't even deserve a courtesy; by the way I'm dating Sam now? Santana wanted to say all those things, but of course she didn't; the deep seeded need to protect Brittany was still deeply ingrained in Santana despite being royally pissed off at her right now. So Santana did the only thing she'd managed to do so far that seemed to help, she sat in her seat in silence, trying not to noticeably shake and venting only in her mind.

"Fine," Brittany said in defeat after another moment of silence, throwing her hands in the air and shaking her head in frustration. "I get it, you don't want to talk to me, but just tell me one thing," she began to ask, but paused as her voice broke on the last word and tears started pooling in her eyes. "Why did you even come get me? UVA is a long way from Louisville, you could have said no. Why help me when you can't even bear to have a simple conversation with me?" Brittany asked, sniffling and wiping her running nose on her sleeve.

Santana's whole body clenched violently, from her eyes all the way down to her toes at Brittany's assumption. She just knew that if she didn't get a grip soon that in about five seconds she was going to explode and probably crash the car into the guard rail. She couldn't believe Brittany right now. It's like, after all these years; Brittany didn't know her at all. Did she really not know that no matter how mad she was at Brittany or how bad things were between them that she would always, _always,_ try and help Brittany if she needed it?

"Don't," Santana said through gritted teeth, finally indicating how serious she was about not having this conversation by finally turning to glare at Brittany. Her hands were even shaking in an attempt to suppress her rising anger, she was that pissed off. "Don't go there," she warned.

The way Santana spoke and the determination Brittany saw in her features almost made it seem like a threat. But why? Why was Santana acting like this? Brittany didn't understand. Santana herself had said it was okay if she dated someone, boy or girl. She practically gave Brittany her blessing. Why was it now not okay? Did it have something to do with Sam personally or was it purely because she hadn't told Santana? Brittany definitely wasn't too proud to admit that she botched the telling Santana part, but she was trying to apologize if Santana would just let her. It just seemed like there had to be more behind Santana's anger, _there just had to be._ Brittany certainly had forgotten to tell Santana things in the past and Santana never got this upset. Not that she had forgotten this time. She chickened out. Actually, she'd chickened out at least a couple dozen times when she tried to tell Santana. It was hard admitting to someone that you were starting to move on, especially if you were still in love with that person.

"But San, you said-"

"What the fuck!" Santana interrupted, practically slamming on the brakes and causing the car to slide until Santana stabilized the skid with a small turn of the steering wheel.

"I-I…" Brittany said, sheepishly starting an apology thinking she'd finally pushed Santana too far.

"I can't fucking believe this," Santana grumbled, looking at the red brake lights of the cars stopped up ahead. "God, damn it!"

Brittany took a relieved breath. She'd thought Santana was about to bite her head off, but it was just traffic. "There must be an accident up ahead or something."

"Great!" Santana said sarcastically with a huff. Brittany also heard her mumble something else under her breath as she collapsed further into her seat, but whatever she'd said, Brittany couldn't make it out, and frankly, she was pretty sure she didn't want to know.

"Is there a way around this?" Brittany asked, treading carefully.

"How should I know?" Santana snapped, immediately regretting her tone knowing Brittany felt the sting. _Fuck! _ Trying instantly to make amends even though she really wasn't feeling it right now, she continued, trying to recover, "but, there was an exit behind us about half a mile, maybe that will take us around this somehow. Hopefully the GPS will calculate a new route," she said, making an illegal U-turn and driving through the snowy grass separating the east and west bound lanes.

Just as they were pulling off the highway Brittany got an incoming text message. **SAM- Hows it goin?**

_Horrible,_ Brittany felt like saying. In fact, she really wanted to cry, but she knew neither of those things would help. Indicating how upset she was would only make Sam worry more and crying would probably make Santana feel even worse so she lied.

**Brittany **(outgoing)**-** **OK. San understands. Making good time. **Send.

Brittany told herself it was only a little white lie so it was okay. And besides, it was for the good of everyone and she hoped eventually it would be true and Santana would understand.

Almost immediately her phone vibrated again with his reply. **SAM- That's GREAT! How r the roads? Everyones worried about you guys.**

_Lie again? No,_ _that would go too far_.

**Brittany **(outgoing)- **Just had to get off the highway cause of an accident. Sans a good driver. Tell them not to worry! **Send.

As Santana looked both ways at the unknown intersection she saw out of her peripheral vision, Brittany typing on her phone. Was she talking with her _Mom?_ _No,_ her Mom still couldn't text. _Sister?_ _No,_ too busy to be texting. _Sam? Son of a Bitch!_ _I can't believe her._ Needing to put an end to that because she couldn't stomach being in the same air space while they were talking whether that was through a text message or otherwise, she asked, breaking her vow of silence, "Which way?"

Brittany looked up curiously from her phone. First, she looked at Santana in surprise. Santana had actually prompted a discussion this time, Brittany thought with a smile, and then she looked at the road in front of them, sliding her phone back in her pocket. "Well," Brittany said, studying the two choices. One looked a little more curvy than the other, but other than that they looked the same. "You always say lefties do it better, so left I guess."

Santana almost smirked at that comment, but bit her lip instead, making the left hand turn. _Jack ass is definitely not a leftie._

The road and the inside of the car were dark now and Brittany hadn't pulled out her phone since they'd exited the highway. Other than the pleasure Santana took in ending Sam and Brittany's conversation there was nothing to be happy about because this road sucked. The back roads they were now on were untreated and unplowed so there was probably at least six inches of snow on them. Plus, it was now snowing like crazy and it was dark as shit. She could barely see ten feet in front of the car even with her high beams on. _Just drive slow_, she reminded herself, gripping the wheel tighter.

They drove a few miles deeper into the mountains and the further they went the worse the road condition became. There were no other cars on the road and any cars that had been there were long gone. This road was completely deserted, not a single tire track was there to help guide them on their way. Santana's hands were starting to sweat as she slowly navigated around every turn. The last downhill 'S' curve they came around had caused the car to fish tail a little, so Santana slowed down to a snails pace to maneuver through the tricky mountain pass.

"San," Brittany paused, waiting for some type of acknowledgement to show that Santana was paying attention to her. All she got from the other woman came in the form of two quick blinks. That would do, Brittany thought. "This road is scary, maybe we should have gone right."

Santana agreed with Brittany, but she didn't verbalize her agreement because she was still too pissed off and what good would it really do to admit that she was starting to get a little scared too. All it would do was get Brittany worked up and they still wouldn't be any closer to getting off this damn road. They'd been driving through the woods for maybe twenty minutes, but Santana was sure they hadn't made it very far because she was only going about twenty miles per hour. She'd seen a couple of road signs through the huge falling snow flakes, but she couldn't really see what any of them said because by the time she was close enough to read them she'd already driven past each one.

"Lost satellite."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Santana said, reaching up to the windshield for the small GPS device while trying to remain in control of the car. This couldn't be happening, Santana thought as she pushed a few of the buttons hoping to bring it back to life. _Fuck!_

"Maybe we should turn back around," Brittany said now that they didn't have the GPS to help guide them.

"How? I can't even tell where the side of the road is," Santana replied sharply. "We could end up in a ditch."

"But, the GPS-"

"It's fine," Santana assured, trying to keep her tone even. "We'll just follow this road for a little longer. Before the GPS went out it said to turn in 5.3 miles. That will get us back on the highway. It'll be fine. It won't be much longer."

At least Santana hoped it wouldn't. She wasn't one hundred percent sure that the turn in 5.3 miles was the turn to get back on the highway, but there was no way she was going to risk turning around now. The road was narrow and there was way to much snow on the ground to tell what she was driving into. The safest thing to do was to just stay on the road and pray that they would come across something recognizable soon.

"Here," Santana announced, indicating with a hand gesture for Brittany to hold the GPS. She just remember that she also had a GPS on her phone so after passing the non-working Tom Tom over to Brittany she reached into the cup holder to pull out her phone.

She quickly typed in Ohio, looked up quickly then glanced back down when she felt the car was firmly established on the road and typed in Lima, she looked up again to see all was fine and typed in Brittany's street…

"LOOK OUT," Brittany yelled in horror as a deer streaked out in front of their car.

Santana immediately looked up to see the small fawn caught in her head lights and jerked the steering wheel to the right to avoid hitting it, causing the car's back wheels to lock and the car to slide off the side of the road, hitting a telephone pole.

TBC

**AN: Well, there you have it. Chapter one down. What'd you think? Good start, crappy start, was I a little rusty? Let me know. I'd love to see what the interest in this story is. I was really excited for people to read it. It's gonna be good! I'm excited for the journey.**

**I also have some really good news for you guys… this story is completely written as of today down to the last word of the last chapter. So lucky you, you all will get regular updates until it's finished. I'm gonna upload new chapters every Friday from now until the end and yes I am gonna give you another update tomorrow. You're welcome. ;) I learned my lesson with Playing With Fire, from now on, I'm not posting anything until I have a finished story and can update on a regular schedule. I hate what I've done to the readers of Playing With Fire. Believe me I have learned my lesson. :) **

**Take care until tomorrow!**

**Drew**


	2. Cold Winds of Change

**AN: Hi again! I hope everyone's having a good 'Nothing Burns Like The Cold Friday'! That's how I'm referring to Fridays from now until this story ends. ;) Big plans for the weekend, people? I hope so. Live life to the fullest! My plans involve going to the pool with my kids, watching the Tour de France, and packing, so I'm not real sure how big my plans are, but I leave for Germany on Monday for a soccer tournament so... wish me luck, this is a BIG one.**

**I'd like to thank everyone for the great response last chapter. I was a little surprised that their break-up seemed to cause such side division within the fandom. I don't pay attention to things that are written about TV shows so the only way I find out how people interpret aspects of the show is from people on this site. I'm glad I got to see people's views on what's been going on. Thank you to those of you who took time out to share your thoughts. I enjoyed it and it was very enlightening in a lot of ways. And to everyone else who alerted, favorited or guest reviewed, thank you. Continued feedback and encouragement means a lot to authors, in all forms, good or bad. Hopefully that keeps happening after what I do to you and them in chapter 2. ;) Trust! I know both sides to this argument. No one is completely blameworthy or innocent. **

**I could keep going, but I won't since I said I'd be short. So anyway, here is chapter 2. I'll talk to you again at the end. **

**Enjoy! And again, a big thanks goes out to BrittanaFan25 for her beta work! **

**Disclaimer: Ownership of Glee? Nope! Ownership of anything related to Brittany or Santana? Unfortunately, nothing, although when I was 19 I did own a pretty busted Black SUV like the one Santana has in this chapter, but I guess that's nothing to brag about. I stand by my statement from back then that a wax on wax off billboard, advertising bikini waxing is distracting so the accident shouldn't have been my fault. The cop didn't buy it. :( I wonder why? Seems perfectly logical to me.**

**Chapter 2…Cold Winds of Change**

"LOOK OUT," Brittany yelled in horror as a deer streaked out in front of their car.

Santana immediately looked up from her phone to see the small fawn caught in her head lights and quickly slammed on the brakes and jerked the steering wheel to the right, causing the car's back wheels to lock and the car to slide off the side of the road, hitting a telephone pole.

XXXXXXXXXX

Everything that happened next took place in an instant. The snow was still falling heavily outside and Brittany watched on wide eyed and alert while the cute small deer that Santana barely managed to avoid ran off safely into the woods. After turning away from the deer she hesitated for a split second and saw that Santana's SUV appeared to be badly damaged, but it was still running, (thankfully,) pinched sideways against the telephone pole. Another split second passed, and in the back of her mind she registered a strange almost whining sound coming from the engine and saw steam slowly rising and seeping through the seams of the bent and dented hood, but she couldn't be bothered with more than a fleeting glance in that direction. She checked herself within a nano-second and made sure she was okay. She was even though her hands were shaking. That was normal… right? The crash had been scary for her and she assumed the frightened baby deer, but she was okay and so was the small fawn so she quickly scanned around the dark car to see if Santana was too.

"San," Brittany gasped after looking at Santana's unmoving, slumped body that was leaning against the side window. Brittany tried to reach for Santana to pull her back up into a sitting position, but found it impossible. Brittany's seat belt was stuck and trapping her in place. When Santana slammed on the breaks Brittany's seat belt locked, holding her safely against her seat, but for some reason it had yet to disengage. "Santana," Brittany called again, starting to panic since she hadn't gotten an immediate answer and Santana still wasn't moving. "Answer me San," she continued, frantically pulling at the clip and yanking on her buckle, trying to get free so she could get to Santana, "are you okay?"

Santana vaguely heard Brittany's voice and some rustling around in the seat beside her, but she was having trouble focusing enough to process anything. It was dark, she had a splitting headache and her whole left side was killing her. That was pretty much all she knew. When she finally managed to open her eyes her vision was a little blurry and she felt like she couldn't move, like she was trying to move under water, but something was weighing her down.

"Britt," Santana painfully moaned as she brought both of her hands up to her pounding head. Her head felt like she'd been hit with a baseball bat and all she wanted to do was squeeze her eyes as tightly as she could and either fall asleep or wait for the mind numbing pain to subside.

"I'm here San," Brittany anxiously replied, forgetting momentarily about being stuck. Hearing Santana voice, she felt more relieved than she'd ever felt in her life. To see that Santana was now coming around lessened a lot of Brittany's blinding panic and she visibly sighed, attempting to catch her shaky breath. "I'm right here. Are you okay?" She asked, ignoring the tension they'd been experiencing before the car crash and reaching over the center console to hold onto Santana's thigh. She just felt like she needed to touch and hold onto Santana, almost as if she needed to make sure she was still there and that she wasn't about to slip through her fingers.

"My head hurts," Santana groaned, reaching again to her forehead this time trying to shake the remaining spots free from her vision. She pulled her hands back slowly, trying to focus, and upon closer inspection, she noticed that her hands had something on them. It was red. She had thought the moisture on her forehead was merely sweat that had accumulated on her brow while she was out, but it wasn't.

Brittany saw it too and her eyes immediately got as big saucers. "San, you're bleeding."

"I guess I am," she responded like she wasn't really sure and touching the spot a couple of times to double check. Santana noticed the cut didn't seem to be bleeding too badly, but it was hard to tell and it still hurt like a son of bitch when she touched the knot just above her left eye brow.

"Let me see," Brittany instructed, trying to turn her body to get closer to Santana. It was then as she struggled to move that she remembered her seat belt was still trapping her.

Santana unbuckled her own seat belt so she could turn to face Brittany and as she moved she felt like she might pass out. She was dizzy and felt sick in her stomach. Blinking her eyes repeatedly she took a couple deep breaths attempting to clear the fog. When her eyes finally focused and her stomach settled enough to not be a distraction she noticed Brittany looked as white as a sheet. "Are you okay?" Santana asked, taking in how anemic Brittany looked and starting to worry that she'd been hurt during the crash.

"I'm okay," Brittany responded, reaching out awkwardly thanks to the angle she had to torque her upper body into to cup Santana's cheeks to inspect the cut. "You just scared me when you weren't moving," she said, tilting Santana's head caringly from side to side to study her from all angles. Once she was satisfied that the only visible injury Santana had sustained, _thank God,_ was the bump and cut along her brow she finished her sentence with, "but I'm kinda stuck. I can't unhook my seat belt."

Santana briefly looked down at Brittany's seat belt while Brittany continued to hold and caress her cheeks with her warm hands. Santana was still pretty out of it so she didn't recognize that things were different now and that she should probably feel uncomfortable or upset about Brittany touching her in this way. Santana's brief hazy moment allowed Brittany's touch to soothe her. Brittany's hands were soft and comforting, and that was something Santana desperately wanted and needed right now to help hold herself together.

Brittany had always anchored Santana and even now her touch stabilized Santana both physically and emotionally. With a firm hand alongside her cheek, Brittany used her other hand to gently push Santana's hair back that had fallen in her face. Brittany made sure to pay careful attention to not get too close to the cut on the other side of Santana's head. Brittany, more than anything, didn't want to hurt Santana more than she already was. "Please, don't ever scare me like that again," Brittany said softly, continuing to lovingly stroke the delicate hairs near Santana's temple.

Santana didn't know what to say as she looked at Brittany's concern. She could see the emotion the fright had caused glistening in her eyes and Santana really just wanted to reach out and hug Brittany to prove that everything was okay and that she was sorry for scaring her. _We're okay_, she thought, slowly starting to lean forward, but just as she was about to reach up and hug Brittany the memory of how different things were now resurfaced, causing her movement to come to a screeching halt. They weren't a 'we' or an 'us' anymore. Brittany wasn't her girlfriend now, she was Sam's. They'd been fighting before that damn deer decided to run out into the street like some kind of suicide bomber. She was mad at Brittany, or at least she had been prior to the crash.

Santana's realization halted her movement abruptly. Brittany saw it too. She saw the exact instant Santana's demeanor changed. To someone else, Santana's subtle change might have gone unnoticed, but to someone who was an expert in all things Santana it might as well have been a neon blinking sign saying 'Beware, Dead End Ahead!' Brittany had seen that sign many times. The gentle arch of her eyebrow, the momentary widening of her eyes, the straightening of her spine, it was clear. Her walls were going back up. Brittany could see it in her body language, she could see it in her eyes, and Brittany wanted desperately to be able to do or say something to stop it from happening, but it was too late, she was already buttoned back up and retreating.

"We should call the police and tell them about the accident," Santana said, backing away and deflecting the awkward and hurtful conversation that was possibly about to take place and quickly turning away from Brittany to look around the car for her phone.

Brittany felt the immediate sting of Santana's rejection.

Santana right now, for many reasons, wasn't prepared to express her feelings for Brittany whether that was indirectly with expressions of fear for Brittany's own well being or directly with gestures of love that would include hugs and tears and pleading with Brittany to be hers again. So instead of going down that road and facing the potential heartache, she did what she does best, she suppressed her feelings and tried to appear indifferent to Brittany's own small declarations of affection. Santana saw her phone on the floor and reached down between her legs to grab it. As she reached for it, her ribs screamed at her, rebelling against the movement. Santana managed to suppress the painful groan that wanted to slip out and picked up her phone to dial 911. She put the phone to her ear using her right hand this time, only to hear silence. There was no dial tone. Santana quickly pulled the phone away from her ear to look at the display only to realize she had no service. "Son of a bitch," Santana announced.

"What?" Brittany asked, quickly being shaken out of her dejected state by the bite in Santana's tone.

"Check your phone," Santana told her, praying to God that Brittany's phone was still working. Santana didn't even want to think about the possibilities if neither of them could call for help. "See if you have service."

Brittany pulled her phone out of her sweatshirt to see that about twenty minutes ago she had received two new text messages from Sam, but other than that, she had no service either.

"Nope, no service," Brittany declared, looking questioningly at Santana. "What do we do now?" She asked weakly.

"Are you sure?" Santana asked, not quite believing they could possibly have this much bad luck.

"See," Brittany said, picking up her phone to show Santana and reaching awkwardly across her body since she was still stuck, "no bars."

_Fuck! _"This can't be happening," Santana groaned. First, the accident that forced them off the highway, then the GPS, then the friggen deer, and now no service, _what's next?_ As soon as she internally said the words, she cringed because that simple phrase pretty much sounded like the ultimate jinx. What's next? _Are you a fricken idiot?_ She thought, reprimanding herself. _You can't ask shit like that! _Because then what happens? You get hit with another bad thing, and then another bad thing and Santana knew they really couldn't afford anything else bad happening. They were already pretty screwed as is.

"Maybe the car's still drivable," Santana said, thinking out loud and shifting the car into reverse.

The tires immediately spun in the deep snow and the engine emitted an ear piercing, shrill sound that could have cracked anything frozen nearby. _Damn it!_ She thought, trying again, but this time pushing the gas pedal harder and putting her weight behind the pressure.

"Fuck," Santana announced, taking her foot off the gas and slumping into her seat. "Maybe if you get out and give us a push."

"But I'm stuck," Brittany said, reminding Santana with a hand gesture to her seat belt.

"Right," Santana said to herself, quickly trying to run down possibilities that she could do on her own that could possibly get them out of this.

Without a word Santana gingerly climbed into the back seat, fighting the brief head rush she felt from her quick movement. Brittany watched and wondered, scrunching her brow in confusion. She had no idea what Santana was doing. Santana ruffled around in the trunk, throwing clothes and shoes and gym bags aside until she found what she was looking for.

"Here," Santana said, after climbing back up into the front seat and handing Brittany a small, clear plastic box. At the time, Santana had rolled her eyes thinking her dad was just being overprotective when he demanded Santana keep a small first aid kit in her car, but now she'd never been more grateful for her dad's protective instincts. "There should be scissors in there, cut the seatbelt."

Brittany did as she was told and began to cut just above the clip, but the angle was tough for her and the scissors were pretty dull.

"I can't get it," Brittany grimaced as she strained to cut through the thick nylon.

"Here," Santana said, reaching across the center console and hovering uncomfortably close to pull the seatbelt taunt across Brittany's lap. The tension between them was palpable as Santana leaned in and pulled on both sides of the small tare while Brittany attempted to cut the rest of the way through the durable fabric. They could both feel the other woman's warm, labored breath tickling the sensitive skin on the side of their necks. It was distracting to say the least and it made Santana want to shiver.

The amount of time and strength it was taking for Santana to pull on the seat belt was causing some serious pain in her left side, she was practically panting in an attempt to fight the rising ache, but she held firm seeing that Brittany was now almost all the way through. Finally, after another minute or two and a lot of heavy breathing the last of the fibers tore free and Santana collapsed back into her seat, clutching her sore mid-section.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked with concern, immediately seeing the grimace on Santana face.

"I'm fine," Santana deflected, shifting in her seat to find a less painful position. "We should see if you can push us out now."

"First, we need to get something on your head to stop the bleeding," Brittany said, wide eyed and alarmed, seeing a slow trail of blood rolling down the side of Santana's face. On instinct, Brittany reached out towards Santana only to have Santana swat her hand away.

"I told you, I'm fine."

Brittany again felt the immediate sting of Santana's rejection and pulled back. They sat there for a moment in silence. Santana was inwardly cursing her thoughtless actions. She was angry about the situation they were in, pretty much all around, and she'd lashed out at Brittany when all she had wanted to do was help. That's all Brittany ever wanted to do, Santana reminisced, bitter sweetly. She felt guilty for hurting Brittany's feelings, but she still couldn't manage to get out of her own way long enough to apologize or let go of her anger towards the girl. Pride was a bitch! She was just feeling too hurt right now.

Brittany, for her part, also sat there blaming herself. She let Santana break up with her even when she knew it wasn't what either of them really wanted. _Why couldn't I just have spoken up when I had the chance?_ She thought, wilting into her seat.She'd also been the one who hadn't told Santana about Sam. _Why can't I speak my mind when it matters? What am I so afraid of?_ She thought, questioning all her actions up until this point._ And today_… Brittany knew Santana would never say no if she asked her for help, regardless of the risk or her anger. _This is my fault; I have to fix this somehow_. This all started by me not speaking up in the first place. _It ends now! _It was now time to take a stand even if it was about four months late.

"Look, I know you're mad at me," Brittany began.

Santana instantly stiffened, hearing a stern tone Brittany rarely used.

"And I deserve it. Well, some of it, not all…" Brittany said, rethinking about all the anger Santana was directing at her. Not all of it was fair. Brittany knew that Santana was beating herself up too and that she was projecting that anger she felt about her own mistakes onto Brittany. "But, we're here now, and all we have is each other, so you're going to let me put something on that cut and then we're going to figure out how to get out of here, together. Understood?"

Santana was shocked to hear Brittany talk to her like that. She didn't talk to people with that tone very often and it had never been directed at her before, but whenever Brittany used that tone, she meant business. Plus, she was normally right so Santana decided to give in and stop fighting Brittany, at least about this.

"Fine," Santana said stubbornly. She still wasn't prepared to drop the rest of her anger just yet, but Brittany did have point. This was happening, and they were stuck here, and it was doing no good fighting with Brittany the entire way. They needed each other.

"Good," Brittany said with a small smile, reaching into the first aid kit to get some gauze.

"Hold this on," Brittany instructed, gently placing the gauze pad on top of the cut for Santana to hold. After Santana took over applying pressure their eyes met, scared and apologetic. They could both see the years of dedication in each other's eyes. It made it a little easier for Santana to loosen the grip on her metaphorical walls, and accept help, but it almost made it harder too. Knowing that Brittany felt something, but not being able to act on that feeling or take comfort in Brittany, hurt a lot. It was a completely foreign feeling having Brittany, but not actually having her. Even when Brittany was with Artie it still felt like Brittany belonged to her, but something about this felt different, _it felt… _she thought… She couldn't quite figure out the right word for what she felt, but it definitely felt different. Brittany's locking stare eventually became too painful and Santana couldn't hold it any longer for fear of losing her composure all together, so she looked away and forced her gaze out the window at the silently falling snow.

Brittany again felt a twinge in her chest as Santana turned away, but she was determined to try and make things right as she finished doctoring Santana's cut. She carefully tried to wipe away the excess blood on Santana face and when the gauze she was holding became too saturated, (which was pretty scary since Santana had lost that much blood,) Brittany reached into the kit to grab another. Santana must be in a lot of pain, she thought, seeing the bloody pile of gauze on the dashboard growing. It also didn't go unobserved to Brittany that the statement was probably true on a more emotional level, Santana was definitely in pain. After Brittany felt like she'd cleaned all the blood she could, there were still hints of blood stain on Santana's beautiful skin, but without anything more that's all Brittany could do so she reached into the box and ripped some tape to secure a clean piece of gauze to Santana's head.

"All done," Brittany declared after gently smoothing the taped gauze into place over the knot on Santana's forehead. In that moment Brittany had to restrain herself. She even started to lean in to place a delicate kiss on Santana's forehead before she realized what she was doing. Thankfully, she stopped herself before completing the action. She couldn't do that anymore and that knowledge was painful.

"How do you feel?" she asked, distracting herself.

"Hurts like Hell" Santana said honestly, not particularly speaking about her head, although that hurt like Hell too, "but at least you've stopped the bleeding," she said with a small appreciative smile.

And Santana was right. The bleeding did seem to have stopped, both physically and emotionally. They both dropped some of their guard which felt liberating, but there was still a lot of pain in their hearts and they both knew there was no gauze or medicine in existence that could take away that type of pain.

"I guess we should see if we can get the car unstuck," Brittany said, waiting to see if Santana was going to say something else before making a move to break their sad unspoken conversation. The connection they shared never needed words to be understood, they just looked at each other and could tell what the other was thinking, but now that familiarity just felt sad. Brittany knew Santana, so of course she knew Santana wasn't going to say anything further, Brittany wasn't expecting her to, but she was still hoping. As long as there was still a glimmer of feeling in Santana's eyes, Brittany would hold onto that hope. And for now there was still some hope for Brittany to grab onto.

Moving on and not wanting to be stuck in their emotional stare down any longer, Santana instructed Brittany on what to do. "When I hit the gas, push as hard as you can."

"Okay," Brittany said, stepping out of the car with a short, but meaningful backwards glance in Santana's direction.

They tried to get the car out of the hole the snow created, but with each subsequent attempt the hole just got bigger. Each time Santana slammed on the gas pedal Brittany would push with all her might, but each time the tires would spin, snow would fly, and the car wouldn't budge. Finally, Santana waved Brittany back inside, resigned in the fact that they literally, and figuratively, were stuck.

Brittany climbed back in the car, dusted the snow off her shoulders in the process, and attempted to catch her breath. It was cold out there. It was so cold that it made it hard to breathe and her lungs burned from the exertion.

"What do we do now?" Brittany asked, attempting to warm her hands on the heat vents.

"I don't know," Santana said, with a heavy sigh. "I guess all we can do is try to walk back along the road to see if we can pick up a cell signal or find some help.

Brittany really didn't like that option. It sounded dangerous. What if they couldn't get a signal? They could end up stuck out in the snow, walking forever with no place to get out of the cold. They could freeze to death. Plus, Santana was hurt; Brittany didn't think Santana could take it out in the cold for very long, she looked pretty weak already.

"Maybe you should stay with the car," Brittany said, trying to keep Santana out of harm's way. "I can walk back myself and this way if someone drives by and sees the car you can get them to stop."

"No way," Santana said, knowing there was no way in Hell, no matter how bad she was hurting that she was going to let Brittany out in the snow to trudge down the dark street, alone. "We go together. Remember? That's what you said…"

Brittany did remember saying they would do this together, but it seemed crazy for Santana to be walking around, bleeding, out in the cold when she didn't have to.

"But San, you might have a tumor…"

Santana did a quick questioning double take in Brittany's direction. _Huh?_ She thought, scrunching her brow in confusion.

"It's not a tumor, Britt, it's just a bump," Santana replied, and as soon as she said the words she recognized the quote and saw what Brittany was trying to do. To other people Brittany's seemingly out of left field comments would just be brushed off as not making sense or, in some people's cases, just writing Brittany off as being stupid, but Santana knew otherwise. All of Brittany's comments, no matter how crazy they seemed, had a purpose. She really was a genius. Sometimes when meeting a new person she would test an outlandish comment on them and see if they would make fun of her. If they did, she knew they weren't worth her time. Other times her comments were made just to get a laugh out of people in a stressful situation, and sometimes they were a test to see if people understood the unique way her mind worked. To this day, Brittany always said that Santana was the only one who understood all of her off the wall comments and Santana could see that this was a test to see if she was still thinking clearly. "And don't try to test me with that Kindergarten Cop BS. You forget how well I know you. I'm fine. I can handle a walk in the snow."

Brittany smiled bigger than either of them had seen from the other in awhile. Santana really was okay. Not only had she recognized Brittany's comment as her version of a concussion test, but she had also remembered the line from the movie they'd probably seen together hundreds of times when they were younger. Brittany loved the movie Kindergarten Cop. She had a little crush on the teacher back in the day, not that she had realized it at the time. But this was Brittany's first indicator that she was a bicorn and not a single sided unicorn.

"You wanna test me on boys have a penis and girls have a vagina too? Because I don't need you to drop your pants to remember that as well. I know your lady parts. I'm fine, I got this."

Brittany laughed and it caused Santana to painfully chuckle a little too.

"Okay," Brittany sighed with a smile, "I'll stop, we'll go together. Nice work on the penis/vagina comment by the way. That line cracks me up every time."

"I know," Santana said, reminiscing back to simpler times with a bittersweet smile. "I remember."

Brittany could have continued down this reminiscing path forever, but she stopped herself. As children they'd had a lot of fun investigating the truth behind the boy in the movie's innocent comment. Playing 'doctor' in the Lopez's basement was both of their first times exploring someone else's body. There was nothing sexual about it at the time, they were both just curious about things that were different, or in their case things that were the same, but it felt good to know and feel that they still had those special connections, even if those connections were in the past. It was nice to know that those things could never change and they would always be bounded together by them. The thing that hurt was the uncertainty in wondering if all those milestones together were behind them. Would they have new milestones to look forward to? Brittany didn't know and that hurt much worse than any potential injury she could get out in the cold.

"We should probably put on some layers," Brittany said, switching tracks and remembering just how cold it was outside. But even after deciding that it was too painful to think about what they might have lost she wasn't quite ready to lose the brief fun connection they were feeling just yet. "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey."

Santana laughed and Brittany felt good that she'd accomplished her goal. She really missed hearing Santana's laughter. She had a great laugh.

"I'll remember that," Santana responded after a chuckle, opening her door and feeling a cold gust of wind chill her from the outside in.

She walked to the back of her car, pulling her coat tighter around her body to ward off the cold and opened the hatch to get out some sweats that were in her gym bag. There was no way Santana wanted to put them on out here in this wind so she just grabbed the bag and walked back around to get back in the warm car. She found Brittany rummaging in her own bag, pulling out random outfits that Santana had to question the reason behind why Brittany brought them.

"Do you need to borrow some sweats?" Santana asked, knowing she had multiple pairs that she'd thrown in the trunk after different practices or games and she didn't want Brittany to freeze to death in only jeans and a hoodie no matter how far their relationship had fallen.

"Yeah," Brittany said, looking up at Santana with her pouting big blue eyes on full display, "I didn't really think I would need heavy clothes for the UVA competition."

"It's okay, you know how I keep my car," Santana said, dropping another bittersweet reminder of how well they knew each other, or used to know each other. Santana wasn't really sure which was true anymore. "I have a few pairs, grab them all. We should probably bring them all just in case we get cold while we're walking."

Brittany picked up all the sweatshirts and sweatpants she could find and brought them back up front. Out of the six or seven outfits she'd found, Brittany picked out a Louisville cheerleading sweatshirt that had Lopez written in block letters on the back and a pair of black baggy sweat pants with a Cardinal on the left hip. She pictured Santana going to practice in these as she put on a couple pairs of extra socks. Brittany didn't like that she'd never seen Santana do what she was picturing. She bet that Santana looked adorable all swallowed up in these clothes. _Mental note_, don't ever get Santana nice clothes for birthdays or Christmas anymore, because while she looked great all dressed up, (_actually,_ she looked great in everything,) Brittany thought she looked her best when she was natural and relaxed.

"Ready?" Santana asked after a few minutes of putting on layer after layer.

Brittany and Santana were as bundle up as they could be, but neither of them were quite ready to leave the safety of the car just yet.

Santana zipped her black bubble jacket up and put on a Cardinals skull cap, making sure to lift it carefully over the bandage on her forehead and then looked at Brittany waiting for her reply as she too finished getting ready.

"Ready," Brittany chirped after a couple seconds, pulling the hood over her head and putting her last pair of socks on her hands like mittens.

They both looked at each other for a brief moment and took a deep breath before they opened their car doors out into the cold. It felt like a big gamble to leave the warm car, but they both knew that if they didn't try to find help they would freeze in that car eventually. They took one last glance at each other, both giving the other a hesitant smile before stepping out of the car into the cold. As Brittany was about to shut the car door behind her she saw the first aid kit on the floor and quickly grabbed it, _just in case_ and stuffed it into her coat before starting to walk behind Santana back the way they came.

They followed their tire tracks as the wind howled through the trees and the snow flakes blew and stung their warm faces. It was hard walking into the wind, and the eight to ten inches of snow on the ground certainly didn't help either. Santana's feet were already cold and wet and they'd only been walking for about twenty minutes. Unfortunately, the wind and snow were making it impossible to move very fast and the only way to cut through the wind was to walk with your head down and the top of your head leading the way. This seemed to help keep the snow out of their faces, at least a little, and it also helped keep an eye on their footing because it was slippery walking down hill in only tennis shoes.

Eventually, they'd walked far enough that their tire tracks had disappeared under the freshly fallen snow. Santana stopped to catch her breath and looked around at the intersection. Everything looks the same, she thought, trying to remember if this was where they turned. It was all dark and snowy, with trees and shit everywhere. It made it hard to be sure about which way to go. Grumbling to herself and cursing her still foggy memory, she pulled out her phone to check to see if they'd gone far enough to get a signal. No such luck she noticed, she still had nothing.

"You?" Santana asked, turning to Brittany, telling her to check her phone too.

"Nope," Brittany said, stuffing it back in her pocket.

Brittany looked around, taking in the scenery. If it weren't so cold, dark, and scary with the noises of the tree branches hitting together and the whistling of the wind in the tree tops it would look really pretty. Everything was freshly dusted with undisturbed snow and it seemed like there was no one around for miles. A few months ago Brittany would have killed to be with Santana in a place like this. Well, not exactly a place like this, but a place were they could be alone and no one would bother them. She missed just being alone with Santana without the awkwardness of the problems they now had.

"I think we turned here," Santana said, motioning to continue walking down the road off to the right.

"Are you sure?" Brittany questioned, "I don't remember turning here."

"No, I'm not sure," Santana said, looking around and trying to shield her face from the wind whipped snow, "but this road has to lead somewhere, right? Maybe there's a house down there that we can call for help from."

"Maybe," Brittany said, doubt causing her voice to waiver. She wasn't really sure she wanted to get off the main road. It seemed more uncertain than the unknown road they were already on. "I think we should stay on this road. We haven't been walking for very long. We should be able to pick up a cell signal soon. The GPS lost its signal shortly before we crashed. Shouldn't we be able to pick up a cell signal around that same point?"

"I don't know," Santana answered, shrugging her shoulders and feeling unsure about pretty much everything. "Cell phones and GPS devices are different, I think. I have no idea when I lost cell service. It could've been all the way back in Charlottesville for all I know. "

"Well, what do you wanna do?" Brittany asked, seeing Santana's teeth chattering and her shoulders curling into herself to hold onto that last little bit of warmth. "Do you wanna go back to the car to get warm?"

"No, we've come this far we gotta keep walking or else we're gonna freeze," Santana said, breathing out a heavy breath. Brittany could see Santana's breath as it floated into the air and eventually disappeared. She only hoped that their relationship wouldn't dissolve into the cold as easily.

"Okay," Brittany said, deciding to agree with Santana because it looked like Santana needed that right now. She wanting to reach out and comfort her, wrapping Santana up in a warm hug, but she knew that Santana wouldn't let her do that. Santana would just shrug her off like she was fine. But Santana didn't look fine, she looked really cold and she was kind of pale now that Brittany thought about it. Brittany was getting worried about her. They'd been walking in the snow for about forty five minutes and it felt like with each step it grew colder. Brittany could see that Santana was struggling in these elements, and she also knew that if something were wrong, Santana probably wouldn't say anything until it became really bad, and possibly too late. So Brittany needed to get them moving and to some place safe, soon. "Maybe you're right. We'll go your way. Left didn't work out so great for us last time. Maybe we need to try something different if we want to get back on track."

The way Brittany said _try something different_ and_ get back on track _made it seem like she wasn't really talking about the road. It made it seem like she was talking about them. But what did she mean by that? Did she mean that they weren't working anymore? Is that why she was trying things out with Sam? Was he her new path? What was back on track? Did that mean them? Was it possible for them to get back on track? And even if they did, did that mean a relationship, being in love, or was Brittany just talking about being friends? Because Santana didn't know if she could just be friends with Brittany. They'd never just been friends. There always had been something more even when they were kids. It just felt like they had something special, something worth fighting for. Why had she given up so easily on that back in October? _Fricken, energy exchange, bullshit!_

Maybe Brittany was right, what normally worked for them hadn't been working for awhile, that's why Santana thought it was a good idea for them to break up in the first place, although in hindsight, that was idiotic. She'd made a mistake. She knew that now. Maybe stepping out of their norms and trying a new path would be just what they needed to find their way back to a good place, back to a better place, together. It was worth a try. Santana couldn't lose Brittany. That much she knew.

TBC

**AN: Okay, so there's chapter 2. They're kinda in deep shit. It's never good to be injured and stuck out in the snow. What'd you think? Do you still blame one person for everything? I kinda felt this chapter was a little slow, but maybe that's because I knew what was going to happen. I'm not sure. Tell me if you thought it was slow, but I will say it certainly sets things up for the hugeness of what's to come. Stay tuned and let me know your thoughts. Oh, and please tell me all you youngins out there know the movie Kindergarten Cop or else that great tumor comment and subsequent penis/vagina comment landed on dead air? Man, I'm gonna feel old if you guys haven't seen that movie and if you haven't seen it check out the female teacher, she was a cutie- not the cop the other one.**

**Take care till next Friday! Hopefully the WIFI at my hotel is good or else I'll be ticked. Chapter 3 will be coming to you from Munich.**

**Have a good week and let me know what you think. I'll have lots of time to read your comments while I'm travel. ;) ;)**

**Drew**


	3. Cold Thawing Out

**AN: Happy NBLTC Friday everyone! :) I hope everyone had a good week! My week has been awesome and sucked in equal parts. Germany is amazing, the people are phenomenal, and the hospitals are soooo efficient. Yeah, that last part brings me to the sucky part… I got knocked in the head by another official in a pick up soccer game among all the technical officers and got knocked out. I was sent to the hospital in an ambulance, got a CT scan only to find out I'm even more thick headed than my wife tells me because all I had was a bump on the noggin and a splitting headache. I guess that's a good thing, but the situation still sucked! I really hope Fifa's insurance pays for it or else that bill is gonna be brutal! :s Anyways, hopefully everyone else managed to get through the week without a hospital visit.**

**Enjoy Chapter 3!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee. Don't own Baywatch, but the Nicole Eggert fantasy referenced in this chapter does belong to me- not Santana. I think my affection for Nicole Eggert goes back to her days on Charlies In Charge. I loved that show. Don't hate if you're too young to have seen it! Which I know a lot of you are based on the Kindergarten Cop thing. I know I'm old. ;) But, if you haven't seen it you should check it out. She's definitely worth it! She definitely made that show IMO. Hubba Hubba!**

**Happy Reading!**

**Chapter 3 …Cold Thawing Out**

By this time Brittany and Santana had been walking for almost two hours with no signs of the snow letting up or help in sight. Over the last twenty minutes Santana's walking pace had slowed down dramatically and Brittany was really starting to worry. Brittany knew it wasn't like Santana to appear so weak. She never showed weakness unless something was dramatically wrong. Brittany was now walking slightly ahead of Santana and every couple minutes she had to stop to allow Santana time to catch up. Brittany turned around when she realized just how far behind Santana actually was and saw her with her head down and her arms wrapped tightly around her body for warmth. She was walking slowly and instead of picking up her feet they were basically dragging through the deep snow like they were made of lead.

Brittany couldn't help but think... that even in her discouraged and cold state, she still looked really cute. It made Brittany smile slightly despite the circumstances. _When didn't she look cute?_ Brittany thought, loving (and hating) that fact. It certainly would make things a lot easier, especially now, if Santana didn't always look so darn loveable.

"Hey," Brittany sighed with a half smile that turned the right corner of her lips up. She stopped directly in front of Santana and took in the girl's downtrodden state. In that moment, staring lovingly yet pitifully at Santana, she decided to take a calculated risk by reaching out with her sock covered hands to grab and massage Santana upper arms to create some much needed friction. Brittany's hands felt like ice blocks and she pictured her fingers looking like cherry popsicles so she hoped the movement would help her just as much as Santana.

"You okay?" Brittany asked, tentatively rubbing up and down Santana's arms.

Santana didn't pull away which lifted Brittany's spirits, but she didn't look pleased either. She just pointedly stared back up at Brittany through her thick lashes. Brittany was confused by that look. She wasn't sure what it meant. Was Santana daring her or was the blankness in Santana's eyes just pure exhaustion? Either way, Santana wasn't pushing her away, which Brittany took as a small victory so she continued to move her cold hands around Santana's body.

_Progress,_ Brittany thought, relaxing. With just that small step, Brittany felt rejuvenated. Things could work. She was determined. She'd work for Santana's forgiveness and she'd work to make sure they both stayed safe tonight. She'd find them help even if it killed her. She'd do whatever was necessary even if that meant pushing Santana a little more then she normally would. She could be strong for the both of them if Santana couldn't. Santana had been strong for her so many times and it was time for her to return the favor. She could do this!

Brittany rubbed Santana's shoulders and felt the helpless way they fell. It broke her heart.

In the short time that followed, Brittany could see how disoriented Santana looked. Wet snow flakes continued to fall and a couple landed and melted on Santana's now pale cheeks. Brittany wanted to reach out and wipe the wetness away, but Santana immediately reached up and wiped it away herself, not giving Brittany the chance.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to shrug off Brittany's proximity and the thawing effect it was having on her disposition. _The cold must really be getting to me,_ Santana thought. She no longer felt like she had the strength to push Brittany away.

"San," Brittany sighed, caringly brushing the snow off Santana's slumped shoulders. "You don't look fine," Brittany said with concern, about to pull Santana into her body to help her get warm whether Santana wanted her to or not. "You look like you're about to pass out."

Brittany decided to go for it during the silence that followed. She closed her arms around Santana neck and stroked over her back with firm pressure, hoping to keep Santana's blood circulating. Santana immediately stiffened under Brittany's hands and made a small move to step back, but Brittany held firm, keeping her close to her body. "It's okay," Brittany said, turning her head so she was talking softly into Santana's cap covered ear. "Please," she begged, "just let me help you."

Santana resignedly sighed, feeling too exhausted and powerless to protest. She could allow herself this one moment. Brittany's body felt good against hers. With Brittany holding her, for the first time all night she felt stable. _Only for a minute, _she thought pushing their problems aside and melting into the comfort of Brittany's body.

Brittany smiled, accepting Santana's weight. _This is what it used to feel like_, Brittany thought, closing her eyes to take in the feeling of Santana against her. For the first time in months her heart felt full and that feeling was enough to warm her body and renew her faith.

Santana could feel Brittany's warmth, maybe not physically, but in her chest she could feel the familiar flutter that had been missing for too long. It felt really good to feel that again, but it was also bittersweet. Nothing had changed in the last few minutes. Brittany was still with Sam and they were still stuck out here in the cold. The thought made Santana stiffen and Brittany felt it too. Over the next minute or two, they held each other but the comfort Santana initially felt morphed into pain. The feeling of nostalgia mixed with regret and, with it, a knot began to form in Santana's gut. She was already finding it hard to breath thanks to the physical pain she felt from the crash and now with this lump in her chest it was nearly impossible. Everything just felt wrong. Santana needed some distance and when Brittany's grip finally loosened after another couples strokes up and down her back, Santana was finally able to step away.

Taking a deep breath, Santana said the first thing that came to mind, "One hug isn't gonna help."

Brittany instantly looked crushed. Santana's intention was to push Brittany away, but now that she had, she felt bad seeing the visible pain in Brittany's features.

"Britt..." she started, struggling with how to finish the sentence. A part of her wanted to apologize and say that Brittany's comfort had helped, because it did, but the other part still felt the need to keep Brittany at arms length. She had to choose her words carefully. It would be really easy to reveal more than she was ready right now. "We just…" she stuttered, fighting against herself. "We just have to keep moving is all. I didn't mean… It's just too cold to stand out here right now."

"I get it," Brittany said dejectedly and Santana knew Brittany understood- which hurt in so many ways. It wasn't the first time Santana had said something hurtful because she didn't know how to handle her feelings, but she didn't feel ready to tell Brittany how she felt yet. "Have you checked your phone recently?" Santana asked, deflecting.

"Yeah, still nothing."

There was a short weighted silence that followed. Brittany now looked like someone had drop-kicked Lord Tubbington and Santana felt like shit as a result. She actually visibly cringed and glanced away to avoid seeing Brittany look so hurt. She needed a distraction, quickly, so she pulled out her phone. _Fuck! _"My phone's dead."

Brittany looked blankly back at Santana and Santana swore her eyes looked duller than they had moments ago. "Damn it. I'm sorry, Britt. Maybe we should turn yours off to save the battery."

The way Santana phrased her apology made it sound like she was apologizing for her phone, but Brittany was pretty sure she wasn't. "Okay," Brittany said, glancing knowingly back at Santana before switching it off and putting it back in her coat pocket. "Let's keep going, I guess."

Brittany wanted to believe that Santana was starting to let her back in, but it was hard to tell. One minute it felt like things were moving in the right direction and then the next she felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. Santana's earlier comment had hurt. _Just when you think you're making some progress,_ she thought, starting to once again trudge down the road.

Watching Brittany dejectedly turn away made Santana want to smack herself over the head. _Why do I always do that?_ She questioned, shaking her head and kicking herself for being such a coward. Santana more than anything wanted to be close to Brittany. She wanted to take Brittany's hand, feel her warmth and walk down the road together as a team, but she couldn't. Brittany was with Sam. Holding hands or anything would be too intimate for them now considering their history. Touch was always important in their relationship. So much so that a simple touch of the hand could bring on so many feelings and emotions and Santana couldn't deal with that right now. Holding Brittany's hand or even simply linking pinkies would feel too much like they were still lovers, so instead, she kicked a clump of snow (since she couldn't actually kick herself) as she started walking sluggishly behind Brittany.

They walked in silence for another hour. The literal and figurative distance between them was truly painful. The dark and cold were starting to consume both their bodies and their minds. Brittany wanted to hold onto her optimism and have faith, both for her relationship with Santana and for this crappy situation, but the longer the night wore on and the colder she became the harder it was to hold onto her positive outlook. Just like the quickly evaporating warmth in her body, her spirits had also taken a hit. Things were beginning to look bad. They were both freezing, tired, and hungry. Santana was injured on top of that and Brittany was beginning to wonder what was more likely to happen… were they going to find help or was one of them going to keel over in exhaustion and be buried alive in the snow?

Brittany looked into the woods as if the answer would just appear on the side of some tree. Other than the soft, white glow that the snow cast, it was pitch black so unfortunately she didn't exactly get the answer she was hoping for. Although, a part of her wasn't exactly sure she was prepared for the answer even if she had gotten one. So far all the signs she'd received had been negative. What if the answer she got was bad? Brittany couldn't take anything else bad. _Maybe not knowing is actually better_, she thought as she looked back at Santana to see that her skin was now ghostly pale despite the cold bite of the wind against her cheeks. _Please,_ she thought, sending up a silent prayer. Neither of them would last in this horrible weather for much longer, especially Santana.

Brittany paused for a second, turning and waiting for Santana to catch up again. She stared off into the distance at nothing. Everything kind of blurred together. The cold was actually starting to play tricks on her and it was making it difficult to focus except… _Wait... _she thought, squinting. It was particularly dark just over Santana right shoulder._ What's that?_ She craned her neck and willed her eyes to adjust to help her get a better look at whatever that dark mass was back in the was too perfect in shape to be a cluster of tree. Maybe it was a sign or billboard or something? _No, it's too big for that. And why would it be back in the woods?_

"San, look," Brittany said, pointing behind her. "Is that-"

Santana turned around and before Brittany could finish her statement Santana said, already wide eyed and hopeful, "A house."

Immediately, after seeing the outline of the structure and realizing they found a place where they could possibly take shelter, their walking pace accelerated. Santana now appeared to have more energy than she'd had in the past two hours combined. In the short distance they had to walk, Brittany actually had a hard time keeping up with Santana. The house wasn't far off the road and Brittany wondered how she missed it the first time, but it didn't matter, they found it now. Maybe her prayer had been answered. Maybe everything was going to be okay.

They approached the front door and now that they were close they could tell there was no one home and, actually, you could hardly call this place a home, it was so tiny. It was more like a cabin and it was pitch black inside.

Brittany hurried to get in front of Santana. Despite what happened earlier, Brittany was still feeling particularly protective over Santana. She was hurt so Brittany wanted to be the first person to go inside. As soon as Brittany got a good look at the creepy place she couldn't help picturing one of those horror movies Santana used to force her to watch. This place looked like a house that a crazy serial killer would live in, all run down and dilapidated. She didn't actually think that a serial killer was in there, but she wanted to investigate the place a little before Santana just barged through in her rush to get warm. Seeing how fragile Santana looked and her Latin fire steadily dwindling was gutting Brittany. It was so unlike Santana. She was always so fiery under any circumstance and now she just looked exhausted.

"It's locked," Brittany said, attempting to turn the door handle and glancing back to see Santana's face fall.

Brittany quickly stepped off the side of the front step to look through the small front window. Santana watched on in dismay. Brittany could see a small couch inside, a table and chairs, a kitchen that could hardly be called a kitchen in its minimal state, and to her delight, a rather large fireplace.

"Stay here," Brittany instructed Santana, starting to walk around the side of the building. "I'm gonna see if there's another way in."

"I'm coming with you," Santana said, quickly shuffling to catch up with Brittany.

Brittany smiled cautiously. She was hopefully that their signs had changed for the better and that Santana might actually start to open up.

"Okay, come on," Brittany said, holding out her hand and trying not to smile too big when she felt Santana take it.

They walked carefully around back, stepping over some downed branches and twigs in the process. They were almost to the back door when they stumbled upon a wood pile at the back corner of the house. The wood pile was a really good sign, Brittany thought, brushing the snow off the top and discovering it was covered with a tarp so the wood would stay dry. Things were starting to look up if they could just get inside. At this point Brittany didn't care if she had to break in. She was going to get them inside if it killed her.

The back door of course was locked, causing Santana to grumble under her breath. They were going to have to break in so Brittany looked around for something to use to break the glass alongside the door. Not seeing any rocks because everything was dark and snow covered, she walked back to the wood pile and picked up one of the smaller logs. She was just about to swing the log at the glass when Santana grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Don't," Santana said, looking back at her with softness in her eyes for the first time tonight. "You could cut yourself. Here," she said pulling out a pair of sweatpants from the bag Brittany had been carrying that held Santana's extra clothes. "Wrap this around your arm to protect it from the broken glass."

Brittany did as she was told and then swung the log as hard as she could at the glass, causing the broken pieces to fall against her arm and making her drop the log inside the cabin in surprise.

Brittany pulled her hand back through the opening and quickly unwrapped the pants from around her hand to examine the damage to her arm. She looked on in shock, seeing that none of the glass fragments had punctured through the fabric of Santana's sweat pants, although, the pants did have a couple rather large tears that would have been horrible gashes if they'd been on Brittany's skin.

"How'd you know to do that?" Brittany asked, still surprised that she'd done it without hurting herself.

"Duh," Santana said like Brittany should already know. "Lima Heights," she said, pointing her thumbs back at herself, "I know these things."

Brittany chuckled briefly at Santana before reaching her arm back through the opening in the glass to unlock the door.

"Come on," Brittany said after opening the door and practically dragging Santana inside.

Santana immediately sighed and took a deep breath, bracing herself with her hand against the kitchen counter. Her body felt numb, her chest was painfully tight to the point where her lungs and throat were burning, and the pain from her head and the needling pressure of her ribs were also still causing some serious discomfort, but it still felt better to get out of the elements even though it was still pretty damn cold in here.

"Here," Brittany said, pulling out one of the chairs from around the table. Santana was partially bent over at her waist and she was grimacing and clutching at her side. It was clear she was in pain so Brittany went into her protective mode. "Sit down."

She looked at Santana with concern once Santana had sat down, but she could hardly see her because it was so dark in the cabin.

"Let me get some lights," Brittany said, moving quickly towards the light switch by the back door. She flicked the switch on, expecting to get some light, but nothing happened. "What the 'h' 'e' double hockey sticks?"

"I think the electric's turned off," Santana said, suppressing a light chuckle at Brittany's attempt at profanity. Santana had never actually heard Brittany curse with the exception of during sex and Santana didn't think that counted. It was like Brittany was physically unable to say the words. Even when Brittany had said fuck or oh shit during sex her body reacted negatively with a tremble or a jolt that Santana could tell wasn't sex related. She knew Brittany's sexy trembles and these were different. These were Brittany's bodies' way of telling her that it was wrong to say such things so Santana from that point on made it her mission to pull curses out of Brittany every time they'd had sex because she knew that meant that Brittany was losing control in the best possible way. Hardly ever was Santana not able to pull a curse out of Brittany, and when that happened, she made sure to make Brittany come again and possibly again until she did, so basically Brittany lost it every time they'd made love. Santana took pride in that knowledge that she'd been the only one to ever do that because there was no way that Sit And Spin or Baywatch Ken had ever done that to her. _Fuckin' Baywatch! _She thought, now picturing Sam. He just totally ruined her awesome Nicole Eggert fantasy. _Don't judge_, she'd always been partial to her over Pamela Anderson.

Brittany wasn't really paying attention to Santana and her quickly shifting thoughts as she moved around the room, attempting to turn on all the lights in the place to no avail.

"Told ya," Santana said, watching Brittany huff after opening the refrigerated door to see no light on and no food on the shelves.

"I'll go grab some wood to start a fire, hopefully that will give us a little light and warm the place up."

Santana watched Brittany walk back out the back door and felt the frigid gust of wind blow back through the room as she eventually walked back in carrying an armful of wood. Santana noticed as Brittany organized the wood in the fireplace that Brittany was really trying to do whatever she could to be caring and helpful. It was very Brittany-like. It wasn't even like she was doing more than she normally would, although, Santana suspected that she would do almost anything to fix things between them. Judging from Brittany's earlier comment about deserving her anger, Brittany was obviously feeling guilty for not telling her about Sam. Maybe it's time to let Brittany fix things between them. It's not like she was totally innocent in this mess either. She had hurt Brittany, too. Besides, it was taking more strength than Santana had right now to stay angry at Brittany anyway.

Santana continued to watch Brittany shuffle twigs around and use the lighter she'd found on the mantel to attempt to light different spots in the pile without success. _She's so focused,_ Santana thought, observing Brittany and her cutely scrunched brow as she worked. Brittany would eventually get it to catch; Santana didn't doubt it for a second because she knew that Brittany wouldn't give up until she got it. Santana loved that about Brittany. She was dedicated when it came to things that meant something and this clearly meant something. Hell, a fire might actually save their lives so damn right it meant something.

In that moment, watching Brittany and seeing how hard she was working, Santana realized that she still loved her. It wasn't an unexpected realization because she pretty much already knew that, but the intensity was jarring and it brought unexpected tears to her eyes. She knew that she still loved Brittany, but the depth of her feelings for the blonde took her a little by surprise. Maybe it was because they'd spent so little time together over the last several months that she figured the time apart might dull the intensity of her feelings, but it hadn't. If anything, now that she didn't have Brittany, she felt it even more.

"I'm gonna go back out to see if I can find some dry leaves or something in the wood pile that burns easily. None of these sticks are wanting to stay lit," Brittany said matter-of-factly like it was the sticks fault.

"Okay," Santana said, staring up at Brittany in awe as she walked by.

Brittany balked for second, seeing a glimmer of something in Santana's expression that she hadn't seen in awhile. It made her stop and curiously ask, "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," Santana responded, not quite ready to get into the conversation that she now knew had to take place, and, for the first time in months, felt ready to take place. "Go see what you can find and I'll look around to see if I can find some blankets or something to help keep us warm in the meantime."

"You sure?" Brittany asked, double checking and watching Santana gingerly stand back up still holding her left side.

"Britt, I'm good," she reassured, using the blondes nickname to make her words seem softer than when she'd said the same thing just before. "Go, I'll still be here when you come back."

"Okay," Brittany said, holding Santana's eyes a little longer than she normally would. For the first time all night the eye contact they shared didn't seem awkward or hurtful, actually, it felt hopeful. She didn't want to lose that feeling just yet.

After several more seconds, Brittany finally said, "I'll be back," knowing that she had to leave soon so she could get the fire started and the room warm.

For the first time since getting in the car hours ago, Brittany actually felt some hope. Not just optimistic. Brittany now realized that's what she'd been feeling up until now. To Brittany there was a difference between the two emotions. Optimism was blind. If you were optimistic it was just because you fostered that perspective, almost just like having faith. Hope actually meant that there was something concrete to hold onto. Something that gave you a reason to be optimistic and that's what she now saw in Santana's eyes: _hope._ But Brittany was still worried. Santana wasn't the type to hold onto positive feelings for very long. When she came back inside, would Santana still be feeling whatever it was that she was feeling right now or would she be back encased behind her walls? Brittany didn't want that to happen, so she said the first thing that popped into her head. "You know I still love you."

That got Santana's attention. Wide eyed, Santana stopped mid-step as she was walking away.

Brittany thought in that first fearful moment before Santana turned around that she might have taken the honesty she felt a little too far.

Santana was hesitant as she turned on one foot and looked at Brittany not unlike the scared deer from a few hours ago that had run in front of their car.

They both noticeably gulped, locking and holding onto the others stare.

Santana couldn't believe Brittany had just blurted it out like that. Santana realized then that Brittany always took the first scary step in situations like this. Even when Santana felt like she was taking the first step, it was only because Brittany had taken that same step long before Santana was ready to meet her half way. It happened during their duets lesson junior year and it happened again when Brittany offered to ask her to junior prom on 'Fondue For Two.' She'd just been too scared to accept Brittany's offers. Brittany was the strong one, not Santana (like most people believed).

"San, I-I," Brittany stuttered, ready to apologize. She wasn't going to take it back because she meant it, she meant it more than she could ever hope to explain, but it didn't look like Santana was ready to hear it yet so she went into recovery mode. "I-I'm sor-"

Santana smiled softly. "No Britt," she said lovingly, shaking her head in an accepting manner. "Don't apologize. Don't ever apologize for that. It's okay. Just," she paused, causing Brittany to hold her breath, feeling apprehensive about what Santana was going to say. "Just go ahead out and find something to start the fire. We can talk about this when you come back in."

"Okay," Brittany sighed nervously, watching Santana turn into the other room.

They were finally going to get a chance to talk, Brittany thought, turning to walk back out the back door, sighing again, this time in relief. Now, she thought, hesitating for a second, _all I have to do is figure out what I want to say and how to make Santana understand._

TBC

**AN: Well, what'd ya think? Is this story gonna end happily? (Or should I say…) Is it gonna end the normal fanfiction way? Haha- Sometimes it bugs me that fanfiction always ends happily, but whatevs. I guess a happy ending is a break from everything bad on the show so I get it. Do you think this could end tragically? Cause I do! That option has really been growing on me lately because when you think about it, not all tragic endings really end badly. They just always end before the so called 'normal' path would have them end. Or is this story gonna end realistically? Realistically was the direction I had initially intended on taking this when I began writing. I wanted to help explain what was going on in canon, but now I'm not sure. Actually, I am sure which of the three I chose because this story is already completely written as you know, but at this point when I was writing it I wasn't sure. So- sorry! Right now, I'm more or less just stoking the coals of suspense. Again sorry! I guess you will all see what direction I chose soon. ;) Only three more chapters to go. I think you're really gonna like the next two. ;) ;) The last one… I'm not so sure. ;) ;)**

**Thanks as always!**

**Drew**


	4. Cold Bite Of Fear

**AN: Yay, it's Friday! Hope the week treated everyone well! No hospital visits for me this time so I'd say I'm doing better than last week. :) Thank goodness!**

**On a different and more on point note… I have to say, I was a little surprised again last chapter, (you Brittana fans are constantly surprising me,) a lot of people jumped straight to negative town, I guess that is my fault somewhat, but where is the optimism people? :( We know Brittana are made for each other. I know, I know… I told you there are 3 ways this story could go, and yes some might not be completely what you want in an ending, but I will say with 100% conviction; I will never end a story badly. It might not always be **_**completely**_** what all readers want, but it won't be bad. Can you tell I'm struggling with how to word this without giving too much away? Cause I am! So please take me saying it won't end badly as some comfort. I hope that assuages some fears people have in this story. Stick with me, you won't regret it! And please know, I care for this couple too, and I would never hurt anyone's feelings unless it was completely unavoidable, (which unfortunately sometimes it is). Also, if something catastrophic were to happen like I said in chapter one, I will put up a warning. Please note there are no warnings for this story so don't jump of the cliff; it's not necessary. Thank you for all the feedback and support! It means a lot! **

**Okay, now that we are done with that… I hope you enjoy chapter 4! Thanks again to BrittanaFan25 for beta-ing this entire story! She read the reviews after last chapter and wanted to hug all you worriers. So here is her form of a hug. If you don't trust me, at least trust her cause she has read the entire story. In her words- "It's gonna be okay," just enjoy the journey. **

**Disclaimer: Heather Morris, Naya Rivera, and I suppose Ryan Murphy own rights to Glee and Brittany and Santana. I own… :s well, shit! I guess I own nothing. Damn, I usually can come up with something relevant or at least witty. Sorry, it's been a long week and I don't think my brain is functioning properly just yet.**

**Here we go…**

**Chapter 4…Cold Bite of Fear**

Brittany and Santana separately moved around the cold, musty cabin and attempted to find everything that they could possibly need to make it through the rest of the night. Brittany got the fire started rather quickly after finding some leaves to use as a starter and eventually, after the fire really got going, she began to melt some snow to use as drinking water. Unfortunately for the both of them, soon after finding some blankets and candles for additional warmth and lighting, Santana also discovered that both the water and electricity had been turned off. It made using the bathroom, shall we say, difficult. Frost bite on your lady parts was not a good feeling.

Time, Brittany realized in those ninety plus minutes of busy work, was a funny thing. When she was dancing, eating melted cheese, hanging out with friends, or making out with someone she really cared about, ie. Santana, o_r, _she thought adding an amendment to the last part, a person who just happened to be really, really hot, ie. Sam. _Although, _deep down she knew he wasn't just really hot, he was a little more than that, an hour could feel like a minute. But, if she was exercising with Lord Tubbington, doing homework, or in this weird state of uncomfortable, cold silence with her best friend, a person who talking to used to be second nature, it felt like forever. Brittany now understood the theory of relativity. _It's all relative._

During the time since Santana had declared they'd talk, no talking had actually taken place. But one thing they had an abundance of was awkward glances and awkwardness in general. Brittany could feel the tension between them in every muscle of her body. It was so awkward that while in the kitchen looking for a pot to melt some snow, they practically took a page out of "Square Dancing For Dummies". They box stepped around each other like two nervous middle schoolers, thinking that any contact from the other person would set their skin on fire. The awkwardness and the anticipation of finally talking about their relationship made it really easy to get psyched out or second guess things they thought they wanted to know or say. But finally, after there was nothing else to ready to help them get through the night, they both sat down on the floor in front of the fire.

The fire was slowly starting to warm the room, but you had to be right in front of it to feel the effects so Brittany got up shortly after sitting down and moved the couch closer so they had something to lean against in front of the fire. She grabbed the four blankets Santana had found and handed the two heavier blankets to Santana. Santana wrapped one around her shoulders and laid the other across her legs.

"Better?" Brittany asked, getting her own blankets situated, mirroring Santana.

"Yeah," Santana gratefully responded, gingerly adjusting her position against the couch. Her ribs were actually starting to hurt more and more since getting out of the cold, but Brittany didn't need to know that. 'Yeah,' was the standard answer that everyone wanted when asking questions like that. Santana just decided to keep the rest to herself. She just kept repeating,_ the cold numbness is just gone, that's all- you're fine._ It was a feeble attempt to convince herself that it was true, and Santana knew it, but _who knows,_ maybe she would eventually start to believe it. She wanted to forget about the pain, but it was nearly impossible with the nagging ache and occasional sharp stab to her gut. But she was determined. Thinking about it made her nervous and she had plenty of other reasons to be nervous so she pushed aside thoughts of her ribs and stared mindfully into the fire. She couldn't do anything about her injuries right now, but maybe things could be fixed between her and Brittany. At least she hoped they could. They'd been through too much together to throw away years of friendship and love over someone as stupid as fish face.

Brittany was now sitting next to Santana with a respectable distance separating them and silence again befell upon the room. _Great…_ Brittany thought sarcastically, glancing between the randomly popping fire and Santana,_ silence… something new and different._

Brittany wasn't a jerk. She really had no problem being patient with Santana if Santana wasn't ready to talk, but this distance between them was killing her. Feeling disconnected from the one person who always felt like home hurt really bad. It didn't feel natural to not be able to talk freely with Santana or hug her whenever she wanted. Brittany just wanted to get past this and work things out so they could just go back to being normal together. She missed the way things used to be. She missed Santana. So in an effort to speed things up, she kept sending Santana questioning _are you ready yet, _glances in the hopes that it might move things along.

Tension built again the longer the quiet hung over them. They no longer had things to distract themselves and they both were fearful of the coming conversation and the feelings that would be exposed.

"Since it's warmer in here now, maybe we should grab the mattress off the bed so we can sleep in here by the fire," Santana suggested, not quite ready to ask the things she both wanted to find out and at the same time was afraid to find out.

"Oh," Brittany said in surprise. She hadn't really expected Santana's first non-prompted, non-fragmented sentence to be about a mattress, but… "good idea, I'll go get it," she said, getting up after a second to shake off the unexpectedness of Santana comment. Brittany had to admit, it was a good idea and if it meant that tonight she'd get to sleep next to Santana then that was just an added bonus.

"I'll help you," Santana said, holding her left side to brace her movement as she tried to get up to follow.

"No, it's fine," Brittany said, seeing Santana grimace and waving for her to relax. "I got it. You just try to get warm."

Santana smiled and settled back against the couch silently thanking Brittany for her quiet consideration. She didn't question Brittany because she knew dragging a heavy mattress would probably hurt her ribs even more. Brittany, Santana realized, was being thoughtful again and she was doing it without calling her out for the amount of pain she was in or her stalling. Santana was grateful. Brittany knew her well- too well for her liking sometimes. She knew Santana didn't deal well with fear and Santana could at least admit to herself that she was scared, even if she couldn't admit it to Brittany. She knew something wasn't right inside her, she could feel it and couple that with being stuck in a cabin with no food and snow piling up outside and you had plenty of reasons to be scared. _And then there's Brittany_... Santana thought trailing off, refusing to finish that thought. She knew that being stuck in this cabin with Brittany was only magnifying certain fears.

The fire Brittany built was finally starting to put off some serious heat, warming her body, and Santana could hear Brittany banging around in the other room struggling with the mattress. It wasn't difficult as long as she didn't allow her anger to blind her to see that Brittany still cared. Santana was surrounded with reminders of Brittany's love even now. _She does care… _Santana reassured, remembering what it felt like to be loved by Brittany. Being loved by Brittany was the most amazing feeling in the world. Santana had never felt anything close and she was now kinda pissed that she'd convinced herself over the last couple months that Brittany didn't love her even if that love wasn't the same anymore.

Not long after Santana's revelation the banging in the other room stopped and she watched on adoringly as Brittany pulled the mattress into the room and dropped it on the floor with a heavy sigh_._

"Thanks," Santana acknowledged with a small smile.

"Hakuna matata." Brittany smiled back sweetly, locking their eyes together.

Santana chuckled at Brittany's cute way of accepting her gratitude. _Hakuna matata,_ she thought to herself, half heartedly rolling her eyes at her own inner dialog_._ Brittany had rubbed off on her in so many ways over the last few years and apparently one of those ways was her knowledge of Disney movies. _Gah, _Santana grumbled, wishing that had been one of the few ways Brittany hadn't changed her. For Brittany it was cute to like those cheesy movies, but for Santana to admit that a Disney movie didn't entirely suck made her feel like a pussy. _Whatever,_ she thought shaking off the pinched chuckle and choosing not to let her mind wander to far.

They both were now looking back to the fire after their smiles and laughter faded, steadying themselves for the seriousness of what was coming. It was time. In fact it was long past time. There was no use putting off this conversation any longer. But who was going to take the first step? They both knew that was the hardest part. There was some peace of mind in not knowing the answers to questions you were afraid to ask, but Brittany didn't want to wait any longer to fix things. So like always, she took the first step.

"You know, I meant what I said." She paused, looking to make sure Santana knew what she was referring to. She was sure Santana did judging from her expression, but she still repeated it anyway, probably more for herself than for Santana. "I do still love you. I don't think I could ever figure out how to stop even if I wanted to."

Santana sighed, hearing the truth behind Brittany's words. It both helped and hurt to hear Brittany's sincerity. _Great… now you're gonna cry,_ she thought feeling her eyes start to water.

"I know," Santana began, still trying to figure out where she wanted to start and how much of her feelings she was willing to reveal. "I think I forgot that over the last month." She chose not to add the part about it being too painful to remember, "but I know you still care even if things aren't the same anymore."

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked, frowning. Okay, Brittany knew things were a little different now, she wasn't stupid, but that didn't mean the way she felt about Santana had changed and she hoped that Santana still felt the same way about her. She would always love Santana and _maybe,_ she wasn't quite sure, but maybe she would always be in love with Santana. Part of her hoped that was true and the scared, unsure part of her begged that is wasn't.

"Sam…" Santana said, bringing Brittany out of her thoughts with the reminder that there was someone else who was now also involved in their little love story. The way she said 'Sam' with a raise of her eyebrow as if to say it should go without saying made her cringe and noticeable swallow down the negative way his name tasted in her mouth. It was like he was the physical embodiment of the devil to Santana, and a part of her really felt like he was, even though the realistic part of her knew it wasn't a fair comparison. This wasn't his fault. She of all people knew how easy it was to fall for Brittany; she couldn't blame him even if she really wanted to, and believe me she really wanted to. "You know… I've known about Sam for awhile. Puck was kind enough to call me on Christmas to tell me he saw you two at Breadstixs acting all lovey-dovey." Santana cringed, picturing the scene Puck described. It made her want to vomit thinking about Brittany acting that way with anyone, particularly Sam.

"Puck told you?" Brittany winced, not realizing that's how she found out. Santana sadly nodded her confirmation and Brittany felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. _Of all people, Puck,_ Brittany thought, loathing him. Unfortunately, she was still holding onto a lot of resentment towards Puck because he was the one who got to be with Santana in the ways Brittany had wanted back in the day and this was just another strike against him. She shook her head, wishing she could kick him in the nuts right now. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way. I really wanted to be the one to tell you."

"Don't lie to me, Brittany" Santana almost yelled, quickly shifting from hurt to angry.

The way Santana said her name made it sound more like a curse and Brittany was immediately taken aback and frozen.

"You've had months to tell me and yet here we are," Santana said, the anger she felt over the last month clearly not able to be contained any longer.

"I know," Brittany said looking to her lap in shame. "All I can do now is apologize," she said, feeling the unshed tears she wanted to suppress building. She rubbed her cold hands over face, pushing the tears back down and taking a deep breath to continue. "Please believe me… I'm more sorry than you can understand. I wanted to tell you. I tried to call," she practically whimpered, "but each time I picked up the phone I couldn't go through with it."

"Why?" Santana questioned flatly, waiting impatiently for Brittany to respond.

When that didn't happen within a reasonable amount of time, Santana continued feeling her emotions spilling over the dam. "Do you know how that looked to me? It seemed like you didn't care, that you were just moving on without giving me a second thought. It fucking hurt, Brittany. I thought I meant more to you than that."

"You do! You mean so much to me. I'm so sorry," Brittany said, finally losing the battle with her tears. Hearing the anger and sadness she'd caused Santana was just too much to take. Hurting Santana was the last thing she ever wanted to do. Her chest was now painfully tight and heaving as she tried to find the words to make Santana understand.

"So why?" Santana asked barely above a whisper, feeling the lump in her throat threatening to suffocate her. This had been the question she'd been most afraid of; Brittany could very easily break her heart even more than it already was with just a few simple words.

"Because I just couldn't," Brittany said pathetically, still trying to get herself under control.

"Thanks Britt, you really cleared things up for me," Santana half laughed/ half sobbed at Brittany's non-answer. She turned away to look sadly out the window at the still heavily falling snow. She couldn't look at Brittany's broken body language right now because she was feeling just as broken if not even more so. The tears she felt building were now glassing over her eyes and she willed them not to fall. She didn't feel like Brittany had the right to see her cry anymore. It felt too personal.

"No San, you don't get it," Brittany voiced, reacting instantly to Santana turning away and wiping nervously at a tear that was sliding down her cheek. Santana still hadn't looked at her so she reached out to pull Santana's gaze back to her with a firm but tentative hand alongside Santana's shockingly cold cheek. She quickly noticed Santana's watery eyes and that sight practically caused her chest to break wide open. She had to make Santana understand. Taking a breath and trailing her thumb across Santana's cheek bone to catch a wayward tear that had fallen, Brittany tried to ground herself against Santana so she could continue. "You don't understand San, I physically couldn't tell you," Brittany said, locking her still watery blue eyes with Santana's pained brown ones. Brittany dropped her hand when she realized Santana wasn't about to turn away again, but it also felt too nerve-wracking to touch Santana right now, which if she was being honest with herself, was more the reason for her withdrawal. Touching Santana always made it hard for Brittany to concentrate and she needed to think clearly right now. She needed to find the right words to make Santana understand.

Taking a deep breath and holding her own shaking hands in her lap, Brittany continued. "I picked up the phone dozens of times and when I was about to hit send I would get this sick feeling in my stomach and I couldn't go through with it. It was like," Brittany paused, trying _for once _to choose the right words. "It was like if I didn't tell you I was starting to move on then it wouldn't be true. The Sam part just happened. I was sad and lonely and heart broken and he was the only one who helped me feel even remotely normal. I couldn't breathe without you. I felt like I was dying and he helped me."

Brittany took a breath, trying to gage Santana's reaction, but she couldn't tell what Santana was thinking. She had this non-discernable expression on her face that Brittany didn't recognize so she continued, thinking Santana still didn't understand. "The main reason I didn't tell you was I just couldn't admit to myself that I was moving on because I really didn't feel like I actually was moving on. I didn't want to be moving in any direction that was away from you. I just couldn't admit to myself that being with Sam was me moving on because that would mean that we were really over. I wasn't ready and I didn't want it to be true. I always thought that deep down you and I would end up together and for the first time in my life I was starting to doubt that. I didn't want to tell you any of that. I couldn't even admit that to myself. I didn't want us to not have another chance."

Santana's whole body physically lurched and she felt sick. The emotional pain she'd been feeling without Brittany for the last few months Brittany had been feeling too. Brittany didn't want to be apart any more than she did. _Could this have been avoided?_ _If we talked about this sooner, could we have saved ourselves all this misery? _She was such a dumbass! Back in the choir room she'd been a fool. She should have fought for her relationship with Brittany when she had the chance. _Fuck!_ Santana thought, allowing her head to fall limp in her hands, realizing the mistakes she'd made, mistakes they'd both made. Her only hope was that it wasn't too late.

"I'm sorry," Brittany blubbered, misinterpreting Santana's negative reaction. "I should have told you sooner. I-I-"

"Yeah," Santana interrupted softly, just above a whisper. Brittany barely heard her, but when she did she stopped instantly to listen intently. "You should have, but I know why you didn't. It was the same reason I didn't say anything."

"Huh?" Brittany questioned between soft sniffles and whimpers. _What? Was Santana holding back too?_ Almost instantly, as soon as the thought surfaced regret took over her body and she felt like an idiot. Of course Santana was holding back. It's what Santana did. Why hadn't she realized this sooner?

"Britt," Santana said softly, turning to face her.

_Jesus!_ Santana cringed and grabbed her side when a sharp pain shot through her gut when she rotated too quickly. Santana's eyes were watering now for reasons that were totally unrelated to Brittany. She was trying to take in deep breathes to compose herself, but the deep breathes she took in hurt like Hell. She couldn't breath. She couldn't talk. It felt like a fucking rhino was sitting on her chest. It was crushing her and the needling pressure in her side felt like someone was stabbing her repeatedly. She might throw up, she thought, swallowing thickly, but she couldn't let that happen. Puking in front of Brittany right now would be embarrassing and it would probably also hurt like Hell. So again, she tried to will her body to relax. She needed to make Brittany see what their fearful actions had done so they could fix them.

_Okay,_ Santana thought and audibly sighed after a moment when she felt more in control. Despite her best intentions to hide the pain she was in, the sound that came out didn't sound in control or free from pain at all. In fact, it sounded more like the wheeze of a ninety year old smoker with emphysema.

"Bri-itt," Santana tried to start again, pausing to take in another labored deep breath. With each breath she took in it was tougher, but she tried to keep going, attempting to steady her pulse rate like that would help with her breathing. "I had no… no idea you felt that way." Wheeze and pause. "When I broke up with you I thought… I thought I was doing what you wanted." Another asthmatic sounding heave and a wheeze. "You seemed so sad… with the long distance…" Cough and a wheeze. "I just wanted… I wanted you to be happy. I didn't want to keep hurting you."

"But San," Brittany said, feeling a nervousness building in her chest. Santana's breathing sounded terrible so muscle memory kicked in and Brittany reached out to place a steadying hand on Santana's shoulder. They were finally getting some where and Brittany needed to keep going so she didn't pause for long. She just kept massaging Santana's shoulder and said, "it ended up hurting me more."

_Now_ _I really can't breathe. _Santana gasped, feeling the pain of those words on practically every level.

"It's not what I intended," Santana bemoaned, reaching first to put some much needed pressure on her panting chest. The tightness felt unbearable and unfortunately the compression against her chest didn't help so Santana reached for Brittany's other hand to anchor herself. By some miracle the feel of Brittany's warm, soft hand did help. Brittany's touch always helped no matter what the circumstances and probably always would. It was a blessing most of the time and a curse at others.

At Santana's contact, their sad eyes met. Just that brief eye contact and simple touch spoke volumes and expressed way more than any words they could possibly hope to find ever could. They both understood why the other did what they did, they were scared. Things were changing and they didn't know how to deal with that change, but that knowledge didn't help with the pain and heartache that their scared actions and decisions had caused.

"Whadda we do now?" Brittany asked hesitantly, looking up from underneath her wet lashes.

"I don't know," Santana said sadly, shrugging her weary, heavy shoulder like she was carrying the weight of the world. And literally she felt like she was. She felt like the world was sitting on her chest threatening to crush her. "I guess that kinda depends on you," she said, her voice shaking and hinting that a lot of what would happen depended on what Brittany chose to do with Sam. That thought didn't really sit well with her. She hated feeling out of control and right now that was exactly how she felt. She had no control over the damn weather. She couldn't control her fucking pain. And she had no say in what Brittany would choose to do about Sam. It fucking sucked!

"I don't wanna hurt him."

And there it was… Santana's head instantly fell and she shook her head in frustration and despair._ How the Hell did we end up back here?_ She thought, feeling exactly like she did back in that hallway two years ago. Actually, she felt worse considering how much her feelings for Brittany had grown.

"San," Brittany said, leaning forward so she could be at the same eye level as Santana and explain. "He's been my lifeline while you were-"

"I don't care!" Santana snapped, interrupting Brittany causing her to flinch away. "I don't want to hear about how great Sam is if it means you're going to stay with him. That's what you're going to do, right? You're going to tell me that he hasn't done anything wrong and that you can't hurt him."

All this talk of Sam brought Santana right back to how she felt standing at Brittany's locker. "Just like before…" she said passive aggressively under her breath. "It's always gonna be about some stupid boy," she mumbled.

"I wasn't going to say that," Brittany snapped, getting a little defensive.

"Then what?" Santana fired back, "because whatever you say, if it ends with you saying that you want to stay with him, then I don't want to hear it. Been there, done that, and I don't care to go back."

"For God's sake Santana would you let me talk," Brittany said, having heard enough of Santana's pessimistic assumptions. "Were not standing at my locker and were not sixteen years old anymore. A lot's changed."

"Sure doesn't feel like it," Santana said, stubbornly.

"Well it has," Brittany said taking a breath and trying to soften her tone. "Back then I was scared to open myself up to you. I know you told me that you loved me, but you also spent the previous two years telling me that what we were doing meant nothing. I didn't know what was true. I was scared that if I left Artie that you would get scared again and pull back and then I would be left with nothing. But you're not that scared girl anymore and I know how great we can be together. You and I aren't the same gamble we were back then. I trust you now."

"But…" Santana said apprehensively, sensing there was more.

"But," Brittany said solemnly, knowing this next part was going to hurt. "I care about Sam too."

Santana's chest tightened further. She didn't think it was possible for her chest to squeeze tighter than it already was but somehow Brittany's words had managed. Even if Brittany said things were different now, it still felt a lot like two years ago and it sucked. Literally, that was the most painful moment of her life and that was saying a lot because being outed by Finn was pretty excruciating.

"Are you in love with him?" Santana asked before she could tell herself not to as uncertain tears welled up in her eyes.

"I don't know," Brittany said sadly, looking nervously at her hands so she wouldn't see Santana's reaction. It wasn't a cop out. She really was unsure about her feelings for Sam. She liked him, she knew that, but she didn't think she was in love with him, at least not yet. She felt like she could fall in love with Sam, under the right circumstances, but she knew with her unresolved feelings for Santana and the fact that she and Sam were both graduating and off in different directions next year, these weren't the right circumstances for love to develop. _But,_ there was something about Sam that just felt easy and light. With him it was fun and carefree and that was something she felt like she could use right now.

Santana was confused. And hurt. And angry about Brittany's avoidance. Brittany knew what it was like to love someone. She loved her. Why wasn't she just saying how she felt? _Unless the answer was… Oh God… What if the answer's yes? What if she's in love with Sam and just doesn't want to tell me? _Santana didn't even want to think about that possibility. It was too much; the thought of Brittany loving Sam nearly broke her. It was bad enough that she was dating him and kissing him and _oh God, _probably fucking him, but to possibly love him? That was just too much to imagine.

She was shaking and her voice quivered with emotion when she repeated, "You don't know," she said, like hearing it a second time might help her process. "What does that even mean? You either love him or you don't. Just tell me, please. Are you in love with him?"

Wishing she didn't have to come up with a black and white answer because love wasn't black and white, she shook her head and audibly gulped. "No," Brittany said shyly, looking back into Santana eyes. "It's never been like that. It's never been like it was with you." _It wasn't a lie,_ but it was only half the truth_. Maybe in this case half is enough, _she thought_._

_Oh, thank God!_ Santana sighed, clutching her chest this time in relief. She felt her chest loosen just a fraction and she was thankful. Hearing those words felt like maybe she wouldn't have to be alone. It felt like someone was there for her. It felt like Brittany was there for her wrapping her up in a reassuring hug. But that wasn't all. Santana knew there was more and that she wasn't completely in the clear just yet.

"You love me, I know that. I love you too by the way," she said needing to slip that in and hoping it would slide by without further comment. "You already told me that, but the bigger question is… are you still IN love with me?"

Brittany hesitated and her heart rate accelerated. "I'm not sure…" she said honestly, feeling her stomach drop with Santana's expression. "I mean…" Brittany said, trying to explain.

"Don't," Santana motioned, stopping her and shaking her head to turn away.

"San, I'm sorry," Brittany said, knowing that Santana deserved better. "I know I still love you, and a lot hasn't changed about my feelings, but circumstances have changed, as you know, and it's hard to tell the difference between loving you and being in love with you."

"Well, _that_ hasn't changed for me," Santana said, grimacing and standing up. She walked away slowly to look pensively out the front window. She needed some space between her and Brittany right now. She couldn't believe that Brittany was unsure about her feelings. It hurt. It hurt bad that after all this time their love was now a question mark and it felt like it was all her fault. Sometimes she really hated herself and the stupid impulsive decisions she made. They never turned out the way she wanted. She needed to learn to keep some things in check.

Brittany watched Santana walk away somberly. She knew Santana saying that things hadn't changed for her was about as big a verbal leap as she could possibly make right now. She was grateful and pretty darn proud of Santana. Santana was feeling vulnerable and actually saying that she was still in love with her was a lot. Brittany didn't need Santana to actually say the words. She made it pretty clear. Brittany knew Santana was still in love with her, she could hear it in everything Santana wasn't saying and she could see it in her eyes. Brittany wondered as an idea began to form. _Could Santana also tell how she felt by just looking at her? She used to…._

Brittany stood and walked up behind Santana. She didn't touch her even though she really wanted to. She wanted to wrap her arms around Santana's waist and bury her face into the sweet smell and softness of her neck. Nuzzling Santana's neck had always been one of her favorite things to do, but instead she just gripped her hands together to make sure she kept them to herself and took a couple deep breathes to steel her resolve. She hoped this worked. It could backfire and she knew it. But she had to risk it.

"San, will you please look at me," Brittany asked softly.

"I can't," Santana replied, hugging her arms across her chest and using the off putting body language like a shield.

"Please," Brittany begged, touching Santana's hip in an effort to try and coax her to turn around.

Santana did, albeit reluctantly.

Brittany looked at Santana and her heart broke. Santana wasn't looking at her; she was looking at her feet which suddenly became her safe haven. Brittany noticed she appeared to be shaking. Brittany wondered if that was from the cold or a result of her emotions getting the better of her. Was what she was about to ask too much for Santana's already weakened state? Could Santana take it? Brittany thought she could. Santana was always stronger than she knew. She could do this.

"San please," Brittany begged softly, tilting her head up with a light touch under her chin.

Santana didn't fight it. In fact their sad eyes met. "Look at me and tell me what you see."

This time Santana did fight it because she wasn't able to hold Brittany's heartfelt stare for long. "What are you talking about?"

"You know me, San. Better than anyone. Maybe better than I know myself sometimes. I know you can tell how I feel."

Recognition dawned on Santana and it pierced through her heart. _No!_ She thought, feeling the dread sinking in. "Please, don't make me do that," Santana replied, her voice shaking.

"San, you know me. I know you can tell," Brittany said, knowing Santana's desire to find out would eventually win out. "Tell me what you see."

"No," Santana said with conviction, looking her in the eyes. "That's something you have to figure out for yourself. I'm not gonna figure it out for you."

"B- but…" Brittany stuttered.

"I can't, Brittany. I won't!"

Santana was ticked off. It wasn't fair for Brittany to ask that, but she did need Brittany to figure it out. Brittany was right, she could tell, and that knowledge overpowered everything and she couldn't be as pissed at Brittany as she probably should have. She was just too relieved and too comforted to see the love she thought she'd lost in Brittany's eyes.

"Kiss me," Santana announced, feeling bold.

Brittany stood there, wide eyed and in shock. "What?"

"Kiss me, Brittany. You wanna know how you feel… then kiss me," Santana challenged.

"I-I can't," Brittany said half-heartedly, stepping back, and rapidly shaking her head back and forth. It was probably more of a show to convince herself than Santana because Santana didn't look deterred at all.

"Why?" Santana persisted, stepping closer. "Because of Sam?"

"Yes," Brittany stated flatly, trying to stand her ground and looking Santana in the eyes. "I'm with him now."

"Bull shit!" Santana called out. "You're just treading water with him and you know it. If you want to find out if you're still in love with me, it's easy. Kiss me."

Santana stepped forward again and completely moved into Brittany's personal space. She could feel it in every bone of her body how much Brittany wanted to kiss her. This was going to work. It had to.

They were now inches apart, locked and staring into each others eyes. All Brittany had to do was tilt her head down and to the right and they would be kissing. It would be that simple and Brittany was sure that it would feel amazing, that she didn't doubt. Santana had the softest lips and Brittany wanted to taste them again, more than anything, but she was hesitant. Brittany had always known that regardless of what she convinced herself- that the difference in plumbing didn't matter- cheating was cheating and it wasn't right. Sam deserved better. _But Santana…_ Brittany re-thought, wavering and trying to justify. She knew Santana deserved better too._ God, this was hard._

"I can't," Brittany said, taking the high road and turning away. She knew if she continued to look at Santana she would break. She just knew it, so she looked back to the fire feeling beaten down.

"If you won't do it then I will," Santana said, taking a couple quick, definitive steps towards Brittany, grabbing her by the arm, spinning her around and kissing her passionately.

Brittany was instantly shocked and frozen. Santana was kissing her. _Oh my God, Santana was kissing her!_ she thought again, feeling paralyzed.She couldn't kiss back. Not because she didn't want to return Santana's kiss, but because she was too stunned to move. Santana had taken the first step. A part of Brittany was really proud. Santana was growing up. She was now attacking her lips, pleading with Brittany to reciprocate. Brittany actually felt stoned and completely gobsmacked. Where had this courage come from? Every smacking kiss was strong and sure. Santana was daring her and _God, _she wanted to kiss Santana back.

"Kiss me Brittany. I know you want to. I can feel it," Santana taunted, sucking Brittany's thinner bottom lip into her mouth, hard. The suction Santana was applying elicited a strangled whimper from Brittany that proved to Santana just how much she wanted to reciprocate. This only made Santana double her efforts, gripping the back of her neck and holding her close.

Brittany couldn't take Santana kissing her any longer. Santana was driving her crazy with want. She could feel her resolve crumbling with each swipe of Santana's warm, wet tongue. She was going to buckle. She had to have Santana, now, but she couldn't cheat, she wouldn't do that again, so she physically pushed her away.

Santana immediately stumbled back a couple steps and grabbed her ribs, clutching her stomach.

The next couple seconds were possibly the longest and most vividly haunting couple of seconds in Brittany's life. All she could do was watch on in horror as Santana's face contorted from a look of determination to shock and finally to a look of sheer agony all within a second. The screams that followed as Santana collapsed to the floor will haunt Brittany's dreams forever. It was a scream of unbearable pain and all Brittany could do was watch on wide eyed and breathless as Santana thrashed around the floor in unspeakable pain. What had she done?

TBC

**AN: Well, chapter 4's in the can. Only 2 more to go. It's getting down to it… :) Please don't hate Brittany! She hasn't done anything wrong. She's only trying to do the right thing, give her time. She's one of the good ones, trust me! :)**

**What'd you think? I know I left you standing on the edge of a pretty big cliff… but if you leave me a signed in review I will get back to you and hopefully talk you down.**

**Have a good week people! See you next Friday.**

**Drew**


	5. Cold Hands, Warm Heart

**AN: Greetings and happy Friday! This is a big chapter people so I'm not gonna delay you any longer. Thanks for all the support last chapter! And thanks again to BrittanaFan25 for making sense of my poor grammar. Oh, and one more thing… apparently this story has some cover art that I was just made aware of. :) :) ohvalerievalerie on tumblr was lovely enough to make some cover art for this story. It's really great! Much better than the little snow heart I found. Check it out! Thank you whoever prompted her to make it and thank you to Valerie for doing such a great job with it! It looks great!**

**Disclaimer- This should have been how viewers got to see Brittany and Santana this season so I'm taking credit for it even though I don't own glee or it's characters. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5 …Cold Hands, Warm Heart**

"Kiss me Brittany. I know you want to. I can feel it," Santana taunted, sucking Brittany's thinner bottom lip into her mouth, hard. The suction Santana was applying elicited a strangled whimper from Brittany that proved to Santana just how much she wanted to reciprocate. This only made Santana double her efforts, gripping the back of her neck and holding her close.

Brittany couldn't take Santana kissing her any longer. Santana was driving her crazy with want. She could feel her resolve crumbling with each swipe of Santana's warm, wet tongue. She was going to buckle. She had to have Santana, now, but she couldn't cheat, she wouldn't do that again, so she physically pushed her away.

Santana immediately stumbled back a couple steps and grabbed her ribs, clutching her stomach.

The next couple seconds were possibly the longest and most vividly haunting couple of seconds in Brittany's life. All she could do was watch on in horror as Santana's face contorted from a look of determination to shock and finally to a look of sheer agony all within a second. The screams that followed as Santana collapsed to the floor will haunt Brittany's dreams forever. It was a scream of unbearable pain and all Brittany could do was watch on wide eyed and breathless as Santana thrashed around the floor in unspeakable pain. What had she done?

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Everything happened so quickly. One second they were kissing and the next Santana was on the floor writhing in pain. Brittany was on the floor with Santana in an instant. She was in such a state of shock that she didn't even know how she got to the floor, kneeling over Santana so quickly. Her heart was pounding, her body was shaking, and her breath was stuck in her throat. She had no idea what was happening. All she knew was that Santana was in excruciating pain, desperately needed help, and it was all her fault.

"San…" she said with wide panicked eyes, reaching out quickly to pull Santana's body to her and try to stop her from thrashing about.

"Santana… stop! Please…you're gonna hurt yourself more,"Brittany pleaded, trying to hold her close. She didn't know what to do. Her first instinct was that flailing around would do more harm than good so she tried her best to hold Santana and stop her pained movements. "Please," she asked again, keeping her hold and wishing with all she had that Santana would miraculously stop trashing and this would all just be a bad dream. But it wasn't a dream. She wasn't going to wake up safe in her own bed. This was happening, it was real, and it was a nightmare. _What do I do?_ She questioned the heavens. She was starting to panic. She had no clue. Her heart was beating fast and her hands were shaking. _Santana would know what to do _if their roles were reversed. _Maybe I'm hurting her more_, she re-thought, loosening her grip. _No,_ she thought again, re-establishing her grip. This was all she could think of to do to help, so she tried to keep a firm hold, curling Santana into her body, hopefully preventing her from sustaining any further injuries.

"San, please," she whimpered again, holding Santana tight to her chest and keeping her from rolling away. "Try and breathe, baby. Just relax, I've got you. It's gonna be okay," she reassured, hoping it was true. She could tell that her voice was shaking and her breathing was ragged, almost as bad as Santana's, who was desperately gasping for air.

Santana was still fighting against Brittany's arms, trying to get away from her hold, but it wasn't as violent as when she first collapsed. Now Brittany could actually keep her against her chest without too much effort.

"Santana, please…" Brittany begged again, hugging into Santana's body and trying to make her voice sound calm despite everything in her body telling her differently. "Try and calm down, San… just breathe."

Brittany was curled protectively over Santana's body now with her face buried into her neck so she could speak soft, encouraging words into her ear. She was trying not to put any pressure on Santana's torso as she trapped her in place with her left arm hugging under Santana's neck and her right forearm planted firmly into the floor behind Santana's back, pinning her in place.

Santana's screaming had now morphed into painful groans and gasps that broke Brittany's heart. How could this be happening? _Please…_ Brittany begged, not really knowing what she was begging for other than for Santana to be okay.

"I'm sorry, San," Brittany whimpered, shaking her head and feeling tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry. Please..." she cried. "You've gotta be okay. Just breathe with me, baby" she coaxed, trying to get Santana to match her breathing pattern which wasn't exactly relaxed, but it was certainly better than Santana's. "Deep breath in and a slow exhale out," which Brittany tied to mirror before quickly realizing that Santana couldn't match it.

"You can do this, San," Brittany encouraged, trying again. "In…" Brittany breathed. "And out…" she whispered right into Santana's ear.

Santana heard Brittany's words and felt her breath on her neck, but she just couldn't do anything other than shake. It hurt so bad. Easily the worst pain she'd ever felt. It was instant, and crippling. When Brittany pushed her away she felt something in her torso crack, causing her to scream out in agony and collapse immediately to the floor.

"Br-itt…" Santana cried, startling Brittany who visibly flinched before attempting to scoot closer, wanting to console her. "Britt… it-it hurts."

Brittany couldn't see Santana's face because of her protective positioning, but her voice carried so much pain that Brittany was sure anyone could sense her agony. It crushed Brittany in that moment and instantly brought tears to brim at her eyes. What could she do? She couldn't take the pain away, despite wanting to with everything she had. She would gladly switch places with Santana right now if she could, but she knew that wasn't an option. She felt completely helpless.

"San, I'm sorry…" Brittany sniffled, trying to wrap Santana closer, rubbing her back and kissing the side of her head. Brittany tried to hold her emotions together as she kissed Santana's head, shutting her eyes and puckering her lips as tightly as she could. She could feel herself cracking, not only against the pain Santana was in, but the pain she felt in her heart witnessing it and feeling responsible.

"God- it hurts, Britt."

"I know…" Brittany replied quietly, her voice cracking at the end, reflecting her emotions. "You just gotta breathe, baby. Just breathe."

But Santana couldn't. She couldn't breathe. This was the most intense pain she'd ever felt. She wanted to straighten herself out, and extend her legs, but the pain made it impossible. All she could do was roll further into Brittany, clutch her ribs and sob.

Hearing Santana cry, Brittany was barely able to hold it together. She wanted to sob right along with her. She knew things were bad. Santana was obviously badly injured, way worse than either of them had imagined. She had to help her, but she still didn't know how.

Leaning in, Brittany kissed Santana's clammy check, telling her, "It's going to be okay," and praying it would.

On the floor, for the next several minutes they held tightly to each other with Santana curled up in Brittany's lap. Brittany continued to pepper short, emotion laced kisses around Santana's head and whispered hushed, soothing words of encouragement and support in an attempt to calm her. It seemed like it was starting to work over time. The sobs were gone now and replaced with pinched winces of pain and short muscle tremors that shook both their bodies and scared the shit out of Brittany when they happened.

"What can I do?" Brittany asked, whispering it into the skin on Santana's cheek. She was trying to hold her tears at bay for Santana's sake, but she had realized long ago, almost as soon as Santana collapsed, that it was a losing battle. Her tears just continued to track down her cheeks as she rocked back and forth on her butt, cradling Santana in her arms while rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Santana groaned in response to the question and fisted the back of Brittany's sweatshirt, unable to give Brittany an answer. She was so tired and yet so strung out that she felt like at any moment the wire would snap that was holding her together and she would fall into a deep sleep and not wake up for days, _or worse._

Brittany was terrified now. She'd hoped that Santana would know what to do. She felt completely useless. She didn't know what was wrong with Santana, but she knew it was something critical that needed more help than she could give. She honestly thought that she was going to have to sit here over the next couple hours and watch Santana die. With that thought in mind something broke in Brittany's chest and she started to sob into the crook of Santana's neck.

"You're gonna be okay, San. You have to be…" she cried, feeling the strain of attempted repression in the back of her throat. _I can't lose you._ "Please…"

"God- it hurts, Britt," Santana whimpered, tucking her cold nose into Brittany's damp left cheek. "It feels like… like my chest is on fire. I can't… I can't breathe."

Brittany was having trouble breathing herself considering the tightness in her throat and the pain behind Santana's words.

"I know, baby," Brittany wept, sniffling to try to keep from snotting all over the side of Santana's face. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. This is all my fault. I never should have pushed you away like that. Please, just be okay. I promise. I promise I will never push you away like that again. I love you. I-I-I mean… I'm in love with you. Please," _God,_ "I love you so much. Please…" _somebody help us, please_.

"You- you love me…" Santana shockingly replied like she didn't believe it or needed to hear it again. That was probably the last thing Santana expected Brittany to say. After Brittany refused her she thought it was all over. Despite her body being so tightly clenched she was more still than ever before. She felt like if she moved Brittany would take it back or say she'd heard her wrong. But her body had other plans because in the process of stuttering her response, she turned her head a tiny bit and cutely bumped Brittany nose with hers.

Brittany immediately pulled back from the contact and their watery eyes meet. Brittany took the hand that had previously been rubbing circles on Santana's back and used it to cup Santana's check, thumbing tears away in the process. She stared into Santana's beautiful brown eyes, begging her to believe her and what she saw was pain, fear and uncertainly. She looked so small and fragile. Brittany had never seen Santana look so small and she hoped that what she had to say would make Santana a believer in her once again.

"I love you," Brittany said again with certainty, holding Santana's heart and stare. "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I was in love with you when you didn't want me to be. I was in love with you when I didn't want to be and I've loved you everyday, before, in-between and after. I will love you forever, Santana. I don't know why I ever doubted it."

"I-I…" Santana started to say, minimal sound leaving her mouth, chin trembling, eyes watering and locked, trying to see into Brittany's soul.

"Can't you see it," Brittany willed with a hesitant, watery smile, hoping her look would say it all.

Santana squinted, trying to focus on Brittany's pleading blue eyes. It took her a moment for focus, but she could see it even through her glassy vision. She realized now that she would always be able to see it whether that was through blinding snow, the pain of busted ribs, or even a broken heart. It would always be there grounding her, protecting her, and loving her.

"I can see it-" Santana whimpered, voice shaking. "I love you, too. So much."

Brittany breathed out audibly, her chest and breath quivering as it released. Everything was so overwhelming. Her body just couldn't contain all of it any longer. She had to let it out. The rollercoaster of emotions they'd been through today, the pain they'd put each other through over the years, and the distance poor decisions forced them to endure. It was all too much and it just came pouring out of Brittany as she slowly leaned in as silent tears rolled down her cheeks to place a long awaited kiss on Santana's trembling lips. It didn't last long. It didn't have to because this kiss spoke more in emotion than any kiss either of them had shared together before. Their lips grazed gently, barely opening enough to allow the others to slide between, but it was powerful, and as Brittany slowly pulled back they both thoughtfully released a breath.

They continued to stare at each other, absorbing the new but familiar closeness they were once again sharing. It felt like it had been forever. It made Brittany's chest feel lighter and heavier at the same time. It felt good, but she couldn't enjoy it the way she wanted. Too much was still uncertain. Too much was out of her hands, and she didn't like that feeling.

"Please, Britt…" Santana whispered, grasping the front of Brittany's hoodie like a lifeline, "just hold me."

"I've got you…" Brittany tenderly replied, leaning closer, nuzzling Santana's nose before burying her face in the warmest, safest place she'd ever known- Santana's neck.

Brittany could feel Santana's heart beating wildly inside her ribcage and she only hoped that whatever Santana's injuries were that her heart would stay protected. She had such a big heart, capable of holding so much love. Brittany only wanted to protect it- to protect her. She knew what had to be done in order to do that, she'd really known deep down all along, but had been wishing there was a less gut wrenching solution. But over the last several minutes she realized there wasn't. Not one that would ensure that Santana got the help she needed. And Brittany wasn't prepared to gamble with Santana's life, even if the thought of leaving her made it hard to breath.

"San…" Brittany said softly, gulping down the lump in her throat and pulling back. The words seemed to be stuck in her throat now that she was looking into Santana's eyes. She actually felt physically sick. How could she leave Santana scared, injured and alone? _Lord, give me the strength…,_ she thought, closing her eyes and summoning all she had. "You know what needs to be done, right?"

Santana frowned for a few seconds and hesitantly shook her head no.

"San, I have to go find help."

"No!" Santana announced, looking like she was scared to death. Despite the look of terror on her face, her words were firm, more firm than anything Santana had said in the last twenty minutes. "No, please… Please…" she begged, her bottom lip trembling. "Please, don't leave me."

"San," Brittany cracked, showering her face and neck with short emotion filled kisses as her own lip started to quake. "I have to. You're hurt. You need more help than I can give you."

It hurt to say those words, but they were sadly true. Brittany was totally ill equipped to deal with any of this. Santana needed to be in a hospital and Brittany didn't want to think about what could happen if she didn't get there soon.

"Please, Britt… you can't," Santana begged, beginning to cry once again.

This in turn made Brittany start to whimper too. "San, I have to," she said, planting another wet kiss on Santana's cold cheek. "I wouldn't go if there was any other way, you have to know that. But I can't help you the way you need. I promise, I'll be back, and I'll bring help. I promise!"

Brittany watched Santana as she curled into her chest and started to sob. Santana's shoulders were shaking, her chest rising and falling rapidly, and her fingers gripping Brittany's shirt roughly to absorb the power of her tears. Brittany didn't say anything, she just held her, rubbing soothing circles into her back again. She knew Santana would come to terms with what has to happen. She's smart. The smartest person Brittany knew. Santana would figure out that this is what has to happen, but it doesn't stop Brittany's heart from ripping in two at what this is doing to her. If she were in Santana's shoes she wouldn't want her to go either.

"Shh…" Brittany hushed, holding Santana as tight as her injuries would safely allow. "It's gonna be okay."

"How do you know?" Santana whimpered.

"Because I'm not gonna let anything happen to you," Brittany said surely. "I'll be back with help before you know it."

"Britt…" Santana murmurs. "It took us like three hours to walk here-"

"I wasn't planning on walking."

"What are you gonna do, fly?"

"No," Brittany replied, like it was obvious, almost chuckling at Santana's response. It actually sounded like something she would say if it had been a little more deadpanned and a lot less sarcastic. "I was planning on running. I'm in good shape. I can run all night if I have to. I'm gonna get you help. The quicker the better."

"I don't like it," Santana pouted.

"Then tell me… tell me you're not seriously hurting. Tell me you didn't most likely break your ribs. Tell me that honestly and I'll stay. I'll stay and we'll ride the rest of this storm out together."

"I-I…" Santana tried to say, but the shake in her voice said it all.

"See, you can't," Brittany said, cutting her off because she knew it was true. "I'm not willing to sit her and risk your life just so we don't have to be alone. I have to do something. You're too important to me."

Santana was still for a moment as she absorbed it all and then sank seconds later as it became real.

"Babe, I know you're scared," Brittany whispered gently, seeing Santana wilting into herself. Santana's dejection was plain to see and it made Brittany fearful that anything above a whisper would break her. "I'm scared too, but we can't just sit here while God knows what's happening inside your body continues to go on."

Santana knew it was true as she curled into Brittany's chest.

Brittany heard a sniffle, accompanied by a shiver that she felt shake her arms. It was subtle, unlike her crying from earlier, but Brittany could tell that she was very upset and a horrible feeling of guilt began to fill her chest despite knowing that leaving to find help was the only thing to do.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Everything was set. Santana had enough water for awhile, a fire that was good to go for a couple hours and they'd managed to move her into a position where she wasn't in an extreme amount of pain. Brittany just hoped that she would be back with help soon. She didn't want Santana trying to throw logs on the fire if it was avoidable. She'd finally convinced Santana to lift her shirt about ten minutes ago to show her the injury, and the bruising and discolorations she saw were bothersome to say the least. Brittany was worried that if Santana moved too much she could puncture a lung or who knows what else. She looked pretty weak already considering she had very little coloring in her cheeks and was having trouble holding onto any kind of warmth. Brittany was really scared to leave her. _What if…NO!_ she re-thought, changing track and refusing to think negatively. She was going to find help and Santana was going to be fine.

Looking away from the socks she was putting on her feet by the doors, she caught Santana's frightened eyes.

Santana ducked her head nervously when their eyes met. She'd already cried about ten different times today and she didn't want to make it an eleventh. It fucking hurt!

"Well…" Brittany said trailing off, after putting the finishing touches on her many layers. She wished she could put this off a little longer. She didn't want to leave, but she had to, and the sooner the better. "I think that about covers everything. Is there anything else you need before I go?"

"You can kiss me," she said weakly, clutching her blankets roughly to her chest like she was physically trying to ward off the storm. Brittany would have thought she looked adorable if she didn't look so skittish. _Actually,_ she did look adorable even though Brittany didn't like that she looked so skittish.

Brittany smiled cutely as she walked to kneel down next to her.

"Here," she said, leaning forward to place an extended peck to Santana's cheek. Santana tilted her head into the delicate touch and her eyes fluttered closed, savoring it long after Brittany's lips were gone. "I'll kiss you for real when this is all over," she said with a wink. "Gives us something to look forward to."

"I'm gonna hold you to that."

"I'm counting on it."

TBC

**AN: Well, another chapter and another Friday down. Only one more chapter to go! I hope you are happy with at least some of the developments in this chapter. I know there are a lot of things in this story to fear, but a least you don't have to be fearful of their feelings for each other anymore. Share your joys, fears and reactions to this chapter if you please. I love hearing from people! It helps me understand how my writing comes across which helps with future projects.**

**Sorry this was so short! Next chapter will be longer, promise.**

**Thanks and have a good week!**

**Drew**


	6. Not Cold Anymore

**AN: Happy final, (sigh), NBLTC Friday! Nothing to say this time cause I'm anxious to know what you guys think of the final chapter. **

**Enjoy! I'll talk to you at the end. **

**Disclaimer: Fuck it! Sometimes Glee sucks and I don't so I don't even want to take credit for it anymore. Nothing Burns Like The Cold is mine though, thank goodness, even though Santana and Brittany aren't, unfortunately. **

**Big thank you to my beta, BrittanaFan25 again! You're the best! And thank you to everyone reading and enjoying this story! Love you all! **

**Chapter 6- Not Cold Anymore**

**Two days later at a hospital in West Virginia**

"Oh, she's beautiful," Brittany grinned from her hospital bed, looking at the picture of her new niece on the screen of her dad's phone. She really was gorgeous, all peach fuzz hair and blue eyes. They looked like the perfect, happy family, Brittany thought.

Brittany's dad was noticeably beaming as he watched his youngest daughter's eyes light up for the first time at seeing his first grandchild. He was thankful that all his girls were healthy and safe, but looking at Brittany right now you could tell something was off. He knew what it was and as a dad it hurt to not be able to take his baby's pain away. He couldn't believe what his two daughters had been through over the last couple days. One had to endure a complicated childbirth; the other had to survive a blizzard in order to save her best friend. He knew his daughters were strong, but boy, nothing prepared him for the day's events that opened his eyes to just how strong they actually were.

"They look so happy," Brittany said enviously, smile starting to waver as she passed the phone back to her dad.

"They are. All three of them are good," he said, referring to Brittany's sister, the new baby and his son-in-law. "They're very happy. Things were a little dodgy at times, but your sister did great. She's a champ! It must run in the family," he said, smiling at his daughter and hoping the compliment would land on Brittany and lighten her somber mood.

"I guess," she said, trailing off and looking to the side to stare pensively out the window. She noticed the sun was finally peaking out behind the clouds. It almost made her squint since she wasn't prepared for it. She thought back, trying to remember how many days it had been, _I think four._ Had it really only been four days since she'd seen the sun? It seemed longer.

Brittany tried to move her focus back to her sister after turning away from the sun's glare. She knew what a big deal her niece was to her sister and brother-in-law and she was happy for them, she really was. She should focus on that. They'd been waiting for this day for a long time, but all things considered, she couldn't manage much more than a short half-hearted smile, at least not right now.

Brittany's dad noticed the sad look in his baby's usually shining blue eyes and it broke his heart. He didn't blame her one bit. His heart was suffering in that respect as well. Santana was like a daughter to him. He loved her like one of his own and the fact that she was in such poor shape was hard to comprehend. What should have been a beautiful, happy time for his family with the new addition had a dark cloud hanging over it and he knew it would remain that way until they all knew that Santana was going to be okay.

"Daddy, do you think you can take me down to Santana's room? I just want to sit with her," Brittany asked, already starting to remove the blankets to get out of bed.

"You need your rest, Kiddo," he replied in that concerned fatherly tone that normally had his girls doing exactly what he asked, but this time he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

Santana's condition had pretty much remained unchanged since both she and Brittany had been flown in yesterday by helicopter. According to the information he'd managed to learn from Santana's father, Orlando Lopez, Santana had sustained a concussion and broken ribs from the car crash and developed pneumonia after due to prolonged exposure and the difficulty she was having breathing. Brittany had been lucky, only suffering from exhaustion and hypothermia. _It could have been much worse_, he thought, thanking the Lord that it wasn't. He just wished that Santana would get better, especially for his daughter's sake.

In his eyes, Brittany was a hero. He couldn't imagine what she'd been through and he didn't want to pressure her for every detail right now, not when she was still so weak and everything was still raw. He knew enough for the time being from what the paramedics, doctors, and what little bits and pieces Brittany had managed to explain. He didn't want to push her and risk upsetting her and making matters worse.

"I'm not tired," Brittany announced, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, ready to get up. "I just want to see Santana."

Witnessing his daughter's level of sadness and devotion, Thomas Pierce smiled pitifully and sighed, "I'll get the wheelchair."

XXXXXXXXXX

Brittany was sitting next to Santana's bed with her head drooping in her hand and the other wrapped securely around Santana's delicate fingers. She'd been sitting there for so long that the sounds of all the monitors had ceased being bothersome and started to sound more like a lullaby guiding her to sleep.

"Brittany, honey," she heard a familiar female voice say, shaking her out of her half-sleeping state. "You should eat something. I brought you a sandwich from the cafeteria."

Brittany looked at the face of Mrs. Lopez and then down to the sandwich she was offering in her hand. "Thanks," Brittany said, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

"You're welcome dear," Maribel replied, wrapping her arm around Brittany's shoulder after handing over the sandwich.

"How's my baby doing?" Maribel asked, looking at her daughter who had oxygen tubes running under her nose and an IV connected at the bend of her arm. Looking at Santana now, if you disregarded all the hospital garb, she just looked like an angel that was sleeping peacefully. Maribel thought that she looked exactly like the same little girl she used to read bedtime stories to and tuck in a night. She was still her little girl and it was killing her that she was in this state.

"Same…" Brittany drawled, shifting her loving gaze away from Santana and looking at the sandwich in her hand. It didn't look even remotely appealing right now, in fact no food seemed appetizing to her at the moment, but she took a bite anyway just to appease Mrs. Lopez who, Brittany thought, was probably on a mission for her dad. He kept trying to get her to eat more or rest more or both. She knew he meant well, and she knew she should probably be doing more of both, but the only thing she wanted to do was stay with Santana. She hated that the police and paramedics that found her out in the snow two days ago refused to take her back to the cabin and to Santana. She basically felt like she'd lied to Santana because she hadn't brought the help to Santana herself like she said she would, so now that they were together she was going to be there for her. She was going to stay there next to Santana until she woke up. Because… she was going to wake up, Brittany was sure.

"How are you holding up, dear?" Maribel asked, tenderly gripping her shoulder in a show of comfort.

Brittany looked up at Mrs. Lopez from under her blonde lashes and sighed exhaustedly. "I'm okay."

"Honey- don't you know by now you can't lie to me?"

Brittany breathed out heavily again, and looked back to the girl she loved lying in the bed. If Mrs. Lopez only knew how many times Santana had lied to her over the last few years she probably wouldn't be saying that, but then again, Brittany was always the weak link in their lies. Whenever she and Santana got busted doing something wrong, all Mrs. Lopez had to do was ask her and the jig was up. Santana always managed to get away with things when Mrs. Lopez didn't have her around as her human lie detector and now was not different. Mrs. Lopez could see right through her.

"I'm tired," Brittany mused, setting her sandwich down after only the one bite.

"You should go get some sleep, honey. I'll have someone come get you when Santana wakes up."

"No- thanks," Brittany replied, looking back to Santana's face and reaching forward to tenderly tuck some hair behind her ear, not that it was out of place or anything, Brittany just needed to occasionally touch her to remind herself that Santana was still there. "I wanna be here when she wakes up. I don't want her to be scared. If she wakes up and I'm not here she'd get worried and I don't want her to worry or be scared. I'm okay, really."

Maribel smiled sadly at Brittany, thankful that her daughter had found someone who cared so much. "My daughter's lucky to have you Brittany."

Brittany looked longingly back at Santana. "I'm the lucky one."

XXXXXXXXXX

**One day later**

"Brittany," her dad said, announcing himself and knocking on the frame of the door. "Some of your friends are here."

When he noticed the confused look on her face, he elaborated, "The Glee Club took a little detour on their way back to Lima. Oh and…" he paused, unsure if he should continue, "Sam's here. He's been really worried about you sweetie. Do you want me to send them up?"

Brittany stiffened. "Or I could tell them you're sleeping if you want," he said, noticing her discomfort.

Brittany thought for a moment, despite the difficulties thinking required on practically no sleep. She'd hoped to not have to deal with Sam or that whole mess until later, but if he was here it would have to be dealt with. She didn't think she could handle him hugging her with Santana lying in that bed nearby, at least not with him under the misguided assumption that nothing had changed. He deserved her honesty.

"Yeah, send them up. But only a few. Just the people who really know Santana. Too many people might be overwhelming."

"Okay, pumpkin," her dad said softly, turning back around the corner to go get them.

Brittany took a deep breath while she waited to center herself. This was going to be hard. There was no getting around it. Sam was a good man and he wasn't expecting this, _although,_ it might not come as a complete surprise, considering. But she still didn't want to hurt him. He'd been so great all year. She hoped that they could still be friends. She needed his friendship. She thought that if her and Artie had managed to stay friends after she'd cheated on him, there was certainly hope for her and Sam considering she managed to not cheat. She couldn't think of any real reason for him to dislike her other than just plain sadness after a breakup. _Actually,_ had she cheated? Now that she was thinking about it, she wasn't sure. She didn't think she had, but remembering all the little kisses she placed on Santana in the heat of the moment made her doubt herself. Those didn't count as cheating, did they? All she was trying to do was comfort Santana- it just so happened that in the process of that comfort, she realized she was still in love with her; she couldn't help that, could she? She hadn't even really kissed her yet, even though she was anxiously awaiting the moment when she could. _That would have been cheating. _She quickly decided those little whispered pecks didn't count. _I didn't cheat_. _I'll end things with Sam and then I'll kiss her for real_.

"Knock, knock," Finn said, peaking around the door, before slowly entering when Brittany looked up. He walked straight towards Brittany after being acknowledged and wrapped her in a big 'Finn style' hug. "God, we're glad you're okay," he said, pulling back to an arm's length to look at her as everyone else trailed in behind him. She noticed out the corner of her eye that Sam was last, which was weird, she thought. She expected him to be the first through the door; to practically come running in like a bull in Pamplona. It was odd.

"How's she doing?" Blaine asked, nodding towards Santana after everyone had filtered in around her bed. He was genuinely concerned for Santana's wellbeing which was nice. Not everyone got Santana, but Blaine always seemed to rise above. Sam on the other hand continued to stand off to the side and had yet to address Brittany or anyone else. Maybe he did suspect something after all? There was no other explanation for that type of distance.

"She's hangin' in," she replied, looking down and lovingly taking Santana's hand. _Well,_ _if he didn't suspect before he probably does now_, she thought, tracing patterns with her thumb over Santana's fingers. "Doctors say she's getting better by the day."

Brittany noticed everyone's facial expressions seemed to rise, but they still showed doubt. She didn't like that they were weary of Santana's recovery so she continued, needing to stick up for her, "She's a fighter. She's gonna wake up soon. It won't be long"

"I'm sure," Tina acknowledged, with a polite nod.

Minutes later, the group conversation where everyone asked her what felt like a million questions was over and everyone had paired off and were talking in small groups. Sugar was talking in Santana's ear about suing the weather man for dumping too much snow, and she was being her normal loud self. _Weren't people supposed to talk quietly in hospitals? _Everyone else seemed to be talking quietly, especially when anyone would address her. It seemed like they were afraid she might break.

Listening to Sugar, Brittany was sure that if Santana were actually awake right now she would have grabbed Sugar by her ear and held tight until Sugar begged for mercy, topping it all off with a little Lima Heights attitude. It made Brittany smile thinking about it. Finn and Blaine on the other hand were discussing a possible song to sing that would be 'healing' in Blaine's words, and Artie and Tina were chatting about something that Brittany didn't care enough about to listen. This was the perfect opportunity to pull Sam out into the hallway to talk. She was even getting curious as to why he was being so quiet; although a part of her was scared of the pain he might be in and felt better not actually hearing him say it. Ignorance is bliss and all. But she guessed that was part of her problem and why she had gotten in this mess from the beginning. She needed to work on communicating better with everyone so she walked over to Sam and asked if they could talk.

As she was dragging him out into the hallway, before reaching the door, Sugar leaped away from the bed and practically crushed her in a suffocating hug.

"Sorry, Aspergers," she said after a moment, releasing her and pulling away.

Brittany chuckled for probably the first time since the accident. She watched Sugar bounce back to the bed and smiled at her friend who had already sat back down. It was Sugar's way of saying I'm glad you're okay. She loved Sugar. Sugar was simple and she was grateful that there seemed to be one person who wasn't treating her with kid gloves. But now was not the time to be thinking about Sugar's awesome qualities, she needed to deal with Sam so she reached again for Sam's hand and continued to pull him outside so they had some privacy.

They stood in the hallway for a moment, neither wanting to be the first to start.

"So…" Sam finally said, fidgeting in his spot. "How are you doing? I haven't heard from you."

Brittany paused, glancing back through the open doorway like Santana might choose now to wake up and get pissed that she was with Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam. I've just been trying to keep it together. It's been hard."

Sam seemed to think about that and nodded in acceptance.

They stood there for another minute in silence. The sounds of the hospital could barely be heard over their racing thoughts. Sam's hands were nervously stuffed in his pockets and Brittany was trying to avoid looking into his eyes so she was staring off in the distance at anything other than Sam. Her eyes briefly landed on the nurses station down the hall and found one of Santana's nurses signing some papers. She wondered if they were about Santana. _Santana…_ she sighed.Just the thought of Santana somehow helped Brittany find the strength and words to start the conversation that would end her relationship with Sam, even though it was still difficult.

"I heard what you did," Brittany said quietly with a hesitant smile.

Sam didn't seem to know what she was talking about judging from his facial expression so she kept going.

"My dad said you helped the police find us," she said, looking back to Sam's eyes. "You're really smart, Sam. The police said without your help they wouldn't have known where to start looking for us. It would have taken them a lot longer to find us if you hadn't shared the text about us getting off the highway because of that accident. Thank you."

Sam shook his head as if he were saying, it's nothing.

Brittany's kind words actually started to sink in and it gave him a little bit of courage to believe the sky might not actually fall today, so he let go and the emotions he'd been bottling up and feeling over the last couple days finally came out.

"Britt, I was so worried about you," he said reaching out to take her hands. Brittany flinched a little when she realized what he'd done, but didn't pull away. It was all really innocent, she thought, as he gently held her hands out between them. "When you hadn't called or texted again I got really worried that something happened so I called the police. Thank God, you're okay," he sighed.

"Well, Santana didn't end up quite so lucky," Brittany murmured, shoulders rolling forward in grief for both Santana's condition and for the fact that she was about to hurt a really great guy.

Sam looked at her with so much concern it hurt. "Britt…" Sam said, starting to lean in to hug her.

Brittany took a quick step back, not able to accept his comfort.

"Sam, wait," Brittany said, dropping one of Sam's hands and using hers to stop his forward momentum.

Sam stopped immediately, feeling the pressure of Brittany's hand on his chest and seeing the way she physically stiffened.

"I have to tell you something," she said, dropping her hand.

For the next couple minutes Brittany explained the situation to Sam. She deliberately left out specifics on how she re-discovered her love for Santana. She didn't think he needed or wanted to know the details, but she made sure he firmly understood who her feelings were truly for. In the beginning he fought against what she was saying, he even tried to work his magic on her with an impression of Keanu Reeves saying that relationships that start under intense circumstances never work, but in the end he realized it was a losing battle. He always knew there was more than just friendship between Santana and Brittany. You had to be blind to miss it, but selfishly he hoped that circumstance would have been enough for Brittany to realize that long distance was just too hard. He just wanted to be the one she cared for. He really liked her and was hopeful things were going to work out differently. But guess not.

He understood Brittany about as well as anyone could and he could tell that this wasn't just about an intense situation bringing two people closer together. It certainly helped, he thought, grimacing, but he knew there were greater feelings beyond the intensity of a life or death situation for these two. Unfortunately for him, it was about two people who probably weren't supposed to be apart in the first place. He might not agree with her decision, but he wasn't going to stand in her way if he wasn't the one she wanted anymore. He wasn't that type of guy even though it really hurt to let her go.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked nervously when he'd grown silent.

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed dejectedly.

"No. Not really. It sucks in all honesty."

"I'm sorry, Sam," Brittany said, feeling like a monster. She felt like she'd been playing him and using him, (inadvertently, mind you) all along. When she didn't graduate she felt like everyone she really cared about was moving on and leaving her behind so she took comfort in Sam because he was nice and cute in a way that could distract her from everything that was bad in her life. She shouldn't have taken advantage of that, he was too good.

"Don't apologize," he said sweetly, moving to sit down in one of the chairs that were along the opposite wall. Brittany slowly followed and took the seat next to him. Sam took in a deep, thoughtful breath, rubbing his hands together to work up the strength to communicate clearly (which was a struggle for him sometimes). "I knew what I was getting myself into. You were honest with me about Santana. I just decided to ignore it and go all in regardless. I went bust," he said with finality. "It happens. I guess that's the risk you take."

"Sam you have to know…I do care about you. Please, know that! If things were different-"

"Don't!" he interrupted, cutting her off. He didn't want her to finish that sentence because things weren't different. There was no use talking about what might have been. What might have been was too painful to think about because he knew they could have worked out under different circumstances. "I don't want to know about what could have happened if... It just didn't work out, that's all."

"Okay…" Brittany trailed off, succumbing once again to awkward silence and Sam's stern tone.

"Go ahead back in to Santana," Sam said, lifting his head up, but continuing to stare at the opposite wall avoiding Brittany's direction. "I'll be fine. I'm just gonna sit here a little longer."

Brittany hesitated. She wanted to go back into Santana's room, but something was stopping her from taking Sam's easy exit right away. He looked so sad and Brittany hated that she was the cause. She didn't want to lose his friendship. She had to make sure that he was going to be okay.

Sam must have sensed Brittany's struggle.

"Brittany, really, it's okay. Go back inside," he encouraged. He looked up a second later and their eyes met. "Give Santana my best," he said, smiling sadly.

With those words Brittany knew they were going to be okay. He was her friend first and foremost. He was telling her with his eyes and with what he wasn't saying that they'd be fine. He just need a little time which Brittany could give him.

"Thank you, Sam."

He nodded with a tight lipped, sad smile and Brittany turned back to Santana's room.

Everyone hung out for a couple more minutes before Finn announced that they needed to get on their way if they were going to make it home by dark. She thanked everyone for coming and for their well wishes and told them she'd see them soon. She hoped... She knew she wasn't going to leave this hospital unless Santana was leaving too so if she actually got to see her friends soon than that would mean Santana had woken up and was fine. So she really hoped she'd get to see them soon.

**Another day later**

Brittany had just finished signing her discharge papers as she sat down in the chair next to Santana's bed. Before she sat down she noticed the shape of the chair. It looked like it had a Brittany-shaped butt print on the bottom cushion. She didn't like that reminder. Santana had been unconscious much longer than anyone thought or wanted. It even seemed like the doctors were starting to worry about why it was taking so long for her to wake up. In the beginning the doctors just kept saying, 'Be patient. This is normal. It's the body's way of healing itself. A short bout of unconsciousness is not uncommon when someone goes through something this traumatic.' At least that's what they had been saying a day or two ago. Now when a doctor came in and checked her chart, their foreheads would crinkle and they looked confused, like this was the strangest thing they'd ever seen. Then they would explain that all her vitals looked fine and walk away only to come back and do the exact same thing again a few hours later. It was frustrating to hear that everything was okay, if not improving. If things were improving then why was Santana still showing no sign of waking up? The uncertainty of not knowing when or if, how or why was making her head hurt and her entire body and heart ache.

Brittany went to the bathroom after another frustrating doctor left, more out of a need to clear her head and walk around than an actual need to use the bathroom, and when she came back everything was just as she left it. The monitors were still subtly beeping, the IV was still silently dripping, and Santana was still lying there unresponsive.

Sighing, she sat back down, her butt slipping into the mold of the chair like a glove.

She looked at Santana and noticed her pillow was sagging. She adjusted it with a delicate touch and ended up keeping one hand near Santana's head to play gently with the fine hairs at her temple. She found it comforting.

"Can you hear me, San?" Brittany asked softly, stroking her hair. The strands of Santana's hair slid easily through Brittany's fingers and she marveled at the softness against her fingertips. She'd missed doing this over the last few months; she only wished that Santana was awake right now to tell her or sigh at how good it felt.

"I know you can…" she encouraged with a gentle, cheeky smile. Who she was encouraging was another question. Was it Santana or herself? She wanted to believe that Santana could hear her, both for her own sake and for Santana's. She had to believe that Santana was still in there trying to get back to her because if she lost that hope then she didn't know where she'd be.

"You know… you got a new neighbor this morning," Brittany said, trying to think of things to talk about when she remembered the old woman who had been admitted next door. "She's really cute. And so is her husband. Anything she needs he hops right to it as quickly as an old man can. He was actually brushing her hair when I walked by earlier. He was doing it like it was nothing and it looked like he was honored to do it. It was so cute."

Brittany paused for a second, feeling her throat tightening while picturing two different people doing that exact same thing many years down the line.

"You would have hated it," she said, chuckling sadly to try and loosen the strain. "But I thought it was cute," she said pointedly. "I think that's how we're gonna end up one day," she thought out loud, dreamily. "I would gladly brush your hair if you were somehow unable. It would be my greatest achievement in life if you would let me love you unconditionally like that forever. I would be so proud to be with you."

The thoughts that were now dancing in her head were like the greatest waltz imaginable. "I picture you graduating college and I'm sitting in the audience smiling and clapping louder than anyone. When you get your first real job I'll toast you and kiss you because I know you worked really hard. When I propose…" she said trailing off in thought, picturing an awake Santana cocking her head in mock insult. "What? You know I'm gonna be the one to propose," she said like she were actually conversing with Santana. "I promise to have a tissue for you when it happens because I know you're gonna cry. And a few years later when I tell you I'm pregnant, my goodness," Brittany giggled, picturing it as clear as day. "I can't wait to see your face for real that day, it's gonna be priceless. You'll look so scared in that moment, but I'll hug you with everything I have and tell you that you're going to be an amazing mom because I know you are."

Brittany sniffled now, trying to keep all the big emotions that were being brought to the surface under control.

"You know… when our kids go off to college I know it's gonna be a tough day for you. Don't worry… just so you know, I won't think you look old. To me you'll always be beautiful. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But you know what else, no matter what happens that day or any other, I'll be there for you when you cry. I'll hold you and put you back together. You're so strong, Santana, but I know sometimes you just need a little reminder of that. I know you're gonna miss the kids, but it's not gonna be all bad that day," she thought, trying to lighten the mood. It was getting tougher and tougher to hold it together. Their future was just _that_ beautiful, so she paused again, feeling like she was losing the battle with her emotions. "I'm gonna be smirking back at you when you're done crying because I'll be thinking that now with no kids around I can make love to you and make you scream as loud and as long as possible because we won't have to be quiet anymore. It could be like the old days."

Brittany shut her eyes picturing all the beautiful things they could do together. These were all so painfully beautiful thoughts and she wanted so badly to have the chance to experience them.

"But you know the biggest part to all this?" Brittany said, moving to take Santana's hand in both of hers, bringing it up to her lips to place a kiss on her knuckles. "You! None of that works without you."

By this point Brittany's lips and chin were trembling as she kept Santana's hand against her face while the tears that had brimmed minutes ago slowly slid down her cheeks. It was true; her life didn't work without Santana. All the things that she pictured from the time she was a little girl meant nothing if she didn't have her best friend and love of her life beside her to share it with.

Brittany was crying now and the heart rate monitor connected to her was beeping and picking up pace in the background. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears on the shoulder of her shirt to try and get herself together.

_What a minute…_ she thought, tuning into the beeping sound. _I don't have a heart monitor._

Realization dawned as she looked down at Santana.

"San…" Brittany said, nervously, afraid to get too hopeful. Could it be true? Was Santana starting to wake up?

"San, can you hear me? Please, open your eyes," Brittany pleaded, clutching her hand and praying it would move on it own.

"I love you so much, Santana. Please…" she said, scanning her body rapidly for any indication that would confirm what she felt in her gut.

And then it happened. It started out as a small flutter of an eyelid and then a weak, but noticeable pressure placed on her hand.

"Santana…" Brittany said like a prayer.

She waited with baited breath until she saw the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen- Santana's droopy open eyes.

"Hey…" Brittany said quietly, with the happiest grin plastered across her face and happy tears sliding down her cheeks. All she wanted to do right now was layer kisses all over Santana's face, but she held back afraid to overwhelm or hurt her.

"You're awake," she said caressing her warm cheek. "How do you feel?"

Santana clenched her eyelids shut, wincing at the brightness in the room and groaning.

Brittany waited anxiously for Santana to say something, but it was taking so long- or maybe it wasn't, she was just so excited. Was Santana in pain?

"I'm gonna go get the doctor," Brittany said, rising quickly from her chair.

"No…" Santana rasped, her voice scratchier than normal. "Stay." She reached out, taking Brittany's hands.

"Always. I'm never leaving you again," Brittany lovingly replied, sitting back down and basking in the warm knowledge that Santana was going to be okay and believing with renewed faith that the spectacular picture she'd painted in her head of a bright future with Santana was finally going to happen.

**5 Days Later**

"You got everything?" Brittany asked, sitting on Santana's hospital bed and watching her stuff the last of her toiletries into her bag. _She's so cute,_ Brittany thought before Santana could respond, unable to wipe the smile off her face. Just watching Santana do stupid stuff like pack a bag made Brittany giddy. She was just so happy to be leaving this hospital, hand and hand with Santana. They'd been through so much over the last several days and they'd come so far. In fact, she never felt better about their relationship, which was saying a lot.

"Just about…" Santana said, zipping the bag and then looking adoringly at Brittany. She took her hand gently, pulling her to her feet and off the bed. "Now I do."

Brittany grinned and broke into a fit of laughter. She was just bursting with happiness right now and couldn't contain it. "You're such a cheese ball," she teased.

"You love me…" Santana flirted back, pecking Brittany on the lips before starting to pull her out of the room that she'd be more than happy to never see again.

Brittany did love her. So much.

XXXXXXXXXX

They were now at the airport, on their way back to Lima and about to be dropped off by Mr. Pierce. Both of their parents declared as soon as they got word that Santana was about to be discharged that neither of them were allowed to drive in the snow ever again, so their parents bought them plane tickets to fly home.

Santana was still moving pretty gingerly as she climbed out of the car with a little help from the hand of a pretty blonde. "Thanks babe," Santana said with a grin.

Brittany grinned back, wordlessly saying it's my pleasure.

"You girls have everything?" Mr. Pierce asked, after removing their bags and shutting the trunk.

"Yup," Brittany chirped, throwing both hers and Santana's backpacks over her shoulder. The Lopez's had gladly taken the rest of both of their belongings back to Lima when they left to drive home earlier that day so thankfully they wouldn't have to check any bags.

"Your sister's going to pick you two up when you land so be prepared to be baby wowed."

"Got it," Brittany giggled, leaning in to give him a one armed hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks dad."

Mr. Pierce did the same thing with Santana only with both arms this time and with as much care as he held within him not to hurt her before saying, "Travel safe," and waving goodbye.

XXXXXXXXXX

The flight attendants were in the aisle going through their normal pre-take-off spiel so basically everyone in their seats who had flown more than twice before had already tuned them out. Brittany was one of them. She was paging through the Sky Mall catalog, occasionally pointing out to Santana a few of the more 'interesting' items like the Bling String to bedazzle your hair or the Beer Beeper that alerted you when your beer was cold. She thought they were both really good ideas.

"Hey, Britt," Santana said, out of the blue, getting Brittany's attention.

"Hmm," Brittany hummed, encouraging her to go on as she turned to the next page that had a day of the week clock. _That's brilliant,_ she thought tearing the page out so she could order it later. Some days it was just too tough to remember what day it was considering she always had so much going on in her head. It was hard to keep some things straight. The clock would help.

"I think I'm gonna leave Louisville."

That got Brittany's attention. "You are… Why?" Brittany asked a little stunned, but hopeful.

"Well…" Santana paused, turning to look at Brittany. "This whole ordeal really got me thinking about what I want to do with my life."

Brittany thought for a second about what she was saying- she definitely wasn't alone there. It certainly forced her to re-evaluate a few of her choices as well.

"I just don't think Louisville's the place for me." She paused, trying to string the rest of her thoughts together into a puzzle that made sense.

Brittany was looking at her with a mixed look of patience and curiosity as she waited for her to continue.

"I just… I don't really know what I want to do, but I know I'm not gonna figure it out doing round offs and beer bongs in Louisville. I think I want to go to New York," she finished.

Brittany was thrilled. "Santana, that's great! I always secretly hoped you would choose New York."

"Secretly…" Santana questioned knowingly, cocking her eyebrow sarcastically.

"Ok…" Brittany conceded, in fake annoyance, "maybe not so secretly, but either way I'm really glad and happy for you."

"Yeah," Santana said, feeling relieved that it had been that easy. Not that she thought that Brittany wouldn't support her decision; she knew she would, but it was a big deal, and a big decision, one that Santana hadn't entered into lightly. "I just got to thinking when I went to New York a couple weeks ago for Rachel's naked intervention-"

"Wait," Brittany said, interrupting her in shock. "What?!"

Santana chuckled at Brittany's cute apparent jealousy. "It's not what you think," she said, pecking her on the cheek. "I'll tell you about it later."

"Okay…" Brittany said uneasily, but still trusting that Santana wasn't lying.

"I just think that maybe I can figure out what I want to do in New York."

"You will," Brittany said easily, having complete faith in Santana. "I always thought you should be in a place as big and hot as you are."

Santana shyly chuckled and smiled. "Thanks, Britt," she said, her smile firmly set in place.

XXXXXXXXXX

**One Month Later**

Once again, Brittany was lying in bed watching Santana pack. She still thought Santana looked just as cute as last time, but this times she couldn't help being a little sad.

"I can't believe you're leaving today," she murmured, showing off her award winning pout.

"Brittany…" Santana said, awed, before moving over to kiss Brittany lightly. She didn't want to make this any harder than it had to be. "I'm only gonna be gone a week. I'll be back on Thursday for Mr. Schue's wedding."

"I know…" she said, continuing to pout, "I'm just gonna miss you. It's been nice having you around everyday."

"I know…" Santana said sitting down next to Brittany and taking her hand. "I've enjoyed it too."

After another sweet kiss that turned into five, they pulled apart, still leaning into each other, seeking and savoring the others closeness. "How long do we have?" Brittany breathed onto Santana lips.

"Mmm…" Santana hummed, savoring the sweetness of having Brittany pressed against her. She clenched eyes after a second, knowing there wasn't much time left. "I think like twenty minutes."

"That doesn't seem long enough," Brittany said, dropping her shoulders in despair.

Santana immediately sought to comfort her girlfriend, rubbing up and down Brittany's arms. Santana was certainly excited to head to New York, but she was equally sad to be leaving Brittany. She hoped that Brittany didn't feel like she was leaving her behind again. That was the last thing she was doing.

"Brittany…" Santana paused, trying to broach the sensitive topic, "are you gonna be okay with this? I don't want you to feel like you felt last time. I need you to know that I'm not leaving you."

"I know. It's different this time," Brittany stated, confidently. Everything was different this time, but in the best possible way. "I'm just sad is all."

"Me too, Britt-Britt," she said, reaching up to cup Brittany's cheek and holding her there for another kiss.

They pulled away with a quiet, wet pop and Brittany sighed. "I guess I should give you this now if we don't have much time," she said, reaching into her back pocket to pull out a folded plain envelope.

"What's this?" Santana questioned like Brittany was just going to tell her.

"Open it silly," Brittany teased.

Santana slowly ripped the flap open, being careful not to get a paper cut on her freshly manicured hands. When she got it completely open, she pulled out what looked like plane tickets. She studied the first of the three tickets and noticed the date.

Brittany could see the wheels turning in Santana's head and decided not to let her wonder any longer. "It's a ticket for you to come back to Lima for my graduation," Brittany said with a nervous smile.

"Brittany…" Santana said, making it sound more like an 'aww.' She knew this was a really big deal for Brittany. Brittany was always really self conscious about school and her grades and the fact that she was giving this to her must mean that she actually felt good about where she stood academically right now. Santana was so proud of her. She really had put in a lot of work this year and it was paying off with a steadily rising GPA and she even mentioned a few days ago that she felt pretty good about how her SAT's turned out, although she wouldn't be getting those scores for at least another month.

"Looks like the second time is gonna be the charm, I guess" Brittany said trying to joke her way through her past failure before quickly moving on to the next two tickets. "But there's more," Brittany said, breaking Santana out of her love sick trance and motioning for her to continue going through the tickets. She was really excited for Santana to get to the last one.

Santana looked at the next ticket and it was clearly for the flight back to New York for a few days after graduation. She smiled a grateful smile and then continued to the last one. She froze immediately. The last ticket was for the same day as Santana's flight back to New York, but this one didn't have Santana's name on it, it had Brittany's. "What's this?" Santana asked, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

Brittany took the ticket out of Santana's shaky hand and sheepishly smiled. "It's a one way ticket to New York for me."

Brittany watched Santana as her chin started to shake and tears started to brim in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Those are happy tears, right?" Brittany asked, wiping at Santana's cheek as a few tears dropped free from Santana's glassy eyes.

"They're very happy tears," Santana replied, stunned that Brittany had done all this. She'd actually made plans, and not just any plans, plans to move to New York and start their life together. "I love you, so much."

"I love you too," Brittany said, hugging Santana with all that she had

"I can't wait to begin our life together," Brittany said happily.

"I think we already have," Santana replied, leaning in and kissing her words onto Brittany's lips like a promise. Wrapped up in each other they both felt toasty warm now, bathed in the others love. There was no longer a reason to feel cold.

The End!

**AN: Well, well, well… we've reached the finish line. I hope this was the ending you all wanted. Somehow it turned out much fluffier than I initially intended. I guess that's just what is destined to happen for this couple. :) Let me know your thoughts one final time. I hope you've all enjoyed this story as much as I have. Oh and one more thing… don't de-alert this story yet. I'm contemplating writing a little didn't happen-Wemma wedding one shot that I will just add to the end of this now that I've officially righted the Brittana canon world and Santana can have the wedding sex she should have had in the first place. Sorry Quinn, I guess you'll have to find another lady to satisfy your lady lovin' curiosity. Let me know if you'd like some Wemma wedding Brittana smut. **

**Take care! Thanks for reading! Love you all!**

**Drew **


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